Talk Like a Pirate (3.5e Spell)

''Avast, mateys! When yer crew be babblin' landlubber nonesense, use this spell to bring 'em back to the talk of the salty seas.''

Upon casting this spell, you hurl a pirateish insult at the target creature. If the creature can understand you, speaks your language, and fails its saving throw, it becomes strongly compelled to talk like a pirate. So much so that their mind is wracked with pain if they try to talk in a different way.

For every sentence the character speaks, they must include one of the following words/phrases or else take 1 damage:


 * Arrr (or any variation, such as Yarr or Harr)
 * Ahoy
 * Avast
 * Barnacle
 * Belay
 * Bilge-[dog/rat/urchin]
 * Black Spot
 * Booty
 * Brine
 * Buccaneer
 * Crow's nest
 * Davy Jones' Locker
 * Doubloons
 * Freebooter
 * Grog
 * Hornswaggle
 * Jolly Roger
 * Landlubber
 * Old Salt
 * Parlay
 * Pieces of Eight
 * Pillage
 * Powder Monkey
 * Rum
 * Scurvy
 * Scallywag
 * Seadog
 * Shiver me timbers
 * Smartly
 * Thar she blows
 * Three sheets to the wind
 * Walk the plank
 * Yo ho

Unlike most spells, this spell affects a player in addition to their character if it is cast on a PC (rather than a monster on NPC). This happens regardless of a successful saving throw and lasts for 10 minutes/level of out-of-game time. Any non-piratey talk on the player's part will instantly cause their character to take 1 damage. This damage can never bring a character below 1 hp, however. Because losing a character because of a silly spell effect out-of-game would be really lame.