Pie Mage (3.5e Class)

Pie Mage
It is said that people will learn to weaponize anything. From simple farming tools were developed weapons of war. From the first caveman who found a rock, we've found ways to throw rocks farther and harder at each other. But it is most strange that people have finally found a way to weaponize food. This is the pie mage, his weapons are key lime and apple, and all will face a sweetened death before him.

Making a Pie Mage
Abilities: Pie mages function off Charisma, which sets the DCs of their spell-like abilities, as well as giving them the social grace to peddle their less-dangerous wares during downtime. Lacking heavy defenses, pie mages enjoy a strong dexterity as well as constitution whenever their evasion falls short. Intelligence can be used to bolster their skill points and take advantage of what they have, leaving strength and wisdom needing just enough to get by.

Races: Any, though it is particually popular with eijilund plushies.

Alignment: Any.

Starting Gold: 5d4&times;10 gp (125 gp).

Starting Age: As fighter.

Class Features
All of the following are class features of the pie mage.

Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Pie Mages are proficient with all simple weapons, as well as the kurki, trident, and war spoons. Pie Mages are proficient with light armor but not with shields of any kind.

 : A pie mage is never hungry, for he always has pie on his side. This duplicates minor creation (including the casting time) except that he can only create foodstuffs, typically pie. If not consumed in 24 hours the food grows stale and disintegrates shortly after. Through this ability, a pie mage can sustain his eating and drinking. Oddly enough food created in this method never has negative side effects such as high blood pressure and diabetes. Delicious AND good for you? Surely its magical.

 : Pie mages know all about mastication. In fact, they masticate daily and enjoy the whipped cream topping. They know so much about it they can resist the mastications of others. They gain "eating resistance" equal to their class level x3. They may apply this to bite attacks and any damage dealt when swallowed, or as a result of digestive fluids. They also gain their class level as a bonus against checks made to swallow them. No sir, pie mages do not always go down smooth.

' :''' Nothing is more humiliating than a pie to the face (except perhaps the fabled football to the jewels). Perhaps that's why pie mage's main mode of attack deals with forming fresh pies out of magic, ectoplasm, and thin air and throwing them in the faces of their enemies. They may throw pies anywhere within Close range as an attack action, making a ranged touch attack and dealing 1d6 points of damage + 1 per class level. Mindless creatures, not having the mind to be made fools of, are immune though it is not actually mind-affecting otherwise, and creatures who are immune to mind-effecting affects and who are intelligent take half damage.

 : At 2nd level, a pie mage can have great fun generating copious amounts of whipped cream and other toppings and spraying them out at high velocity. As a standard action out to Medium range the pie mage may project a spray of cream to make a bull rush attempt at range, using his own ability scores and feats. At 4th level, the pie mage can duplicate the "stream" function of a decanter of endless water but with frothy white cream. At 6th level, he gains access to the "fountain" effect, and at 8th level he gains access to the "geyser" effect. At 10th level, he can aim for the eyes and blind an enemy with a ranged touch attack, no save. The blindness is only removed by the creature wiping their face clean, a move action.

' :''' At 3rd level, a pie mage can summon a pie under the feet of the enemy. If the enemy fails a Will save DC 10 + 1/2 HD + Cha, the enemy is sucked into the pie up to their neck and they are rendered helpless. This functions like hold person but is not mind-affecting, and they get a save every round to resist. At 9th level this duplicates hold monster instead. A successful save releases them from the curiously deep pie standing and covered in pie-bits.

 : At 4th level, a pie mage benefits from a soft, yet volumous flaky crust baked right around him. He gains a natural armor bonus equal to 1/4th his class level. This stacks with any pre-existing natural armor. Plus, you may smell like pie whenever you want.

Non-mindless creatures who are immune to mind-affecting effects now take full damage to the pie mage's pie toss, and mindless creatures and objects take half damage.

' :' At 5th level, a pie mage can duplicate the effects of fireball'' at will, but with untyped pie damage identical to his pie toss ability instead of fire damage and the damage is uncapped. His pies are just so delicious they can't contain their deliciousness.

' :''' At 6th level, a pie mage can leave secret surprises for his enemies to find. He creates a pie which blends into the ground (make a disguise or hide check with a +10 bonus) and sets it down anywhere on a flat surface. It has the same effect as bursting with flavor but can be set off at a later date and only has a 10 foot radius burst. The pie mage can choose to make the trigger either proximity based (by stepping into the square where the pie is hidden), timed to go off anytime in the next 5 rounds, or triggered by command anywhere within 100 ft. of the pie (a standard action to command the pies to explode). These "pie mines" can last indefinately, but the pie mage may only have a number of pies equal to his Charisma modifier active at one time. If he goes over limit, he must choose to deactivate one of his previous castings, whose pie disintergrates into mush.

' :''' At 7th level, the pie mage has taken a cue from comics and learned to harness the incredible force of the Hostess Fruit PieTM. He tosses one of these fantastic fruit filled fantasies out at his enemies anywhere in Close range, and all enemies in a 30 ft. radius must make a Will save DC 10 + 1/2 + Cha or become fascinated with the pie, watching it intensely and remarking on its wonders for 1 round/level. As is normal with fascination, the effect is broken for all creatures if they are threatened or attacked. They may make another save with a +4 bonus if they are subject to a dangerous situation which is not an attack, such as forgetting to run out of the way of the incoming avalanche.

 : At 7th level, the culinary creations of the pie mage improve. They may now make anything detailed in minor creation as well as poisoned toxic pies whose poison DC equals their level + 10 or lower. Throwing poisoned pies is not the same as pie toss, they are improvised throwing weapons with a range increment of 10 ft. However they are excellent for deploying ingested poisons without anyone noticing poison having been added to the mix.

If simply used for creating food as per culinary creation, the casting time is reduced to a standard action.

' :''' At 8th level, a pie mage can summon a pie large enough for him to stand on and use it as a flying battle platform which he controls mentally as a free action. The pie has a fly speed of 60 ft (good) and the pie mage never risks falling off his pie in the sky, even if turned upsidedown. The pie in the sky can be attacked and destroyed though. It has hardness 10 and hit points equal to 4x your level. Summoning the pie in the sky is a 1 round action, and you can only have one in effect at a time.

' :''' At 9th level, a pie mage can summon powerful pie golems. They are made out of many kinds of different pie, but whatever their appearance they typically duplicate a pre-existing golem, such as a clay golem or iron golem. You may use the statistics of any golem whose CR is equal to your class level -5 or less. The summon remains for 1 round/level, before falling apart into a delicious mush. You may only have one such pie golem active at one time.

' :''' At 10th level, a pie mage lives, breaths, and is pie. Some take it too literally and really do start living in pie. The pie mage may use any pie as a gateway to his personal demiplane. Treat this as rope trick except you may store any number of creatures who can fit in the demiplate. The demiplane is 5 cubic feet per caster level, or 100 cubic feet when you first get this ability. It is filled and refreshed with air and gentle lighting, but otherwise unfurnished. Since all pies lead to the same demiplane, you may furnish it as you wish and return to it often. While the plane is occupied the pie you entered glows obviously with magic. If your entry pie is destroyed, all creatures are booted out of the demiplane and appear in the nearest available space. Otherwise, nothing in the demiplane is harmed and you may access it via another pie at a later date.

' :''' At 11th level, pies become a terrible dangerous weapon. He may duplicate the effects of destructo disc. He may concentrate on the spell for up to 5 rounds if he so chooses, cutting all in half with hot freshly baked might!

' :''' At 12th level, the pie mage's enemies will know what it is to taste fear. Specifically key lime fear. The pie mage duplicates the effects of baleful polymorph except the end result is an edible, pie-filled construct version of whatever creature you transform them into, and they automatically gain the Delicious flaw which makes them automatically targeted by any creature with a bite attack whenever in 60 ft. of the target, even by former allies. Creatures can resist giving into the urge to eat with a Will save DC 10 + 1/2 HD + Cha.

The end result is much worse than baleful polymorph. If the creature does not make the subsequent Will save to retain their mindset in 24 hours, they are turned into an inanimate, and delicious, pie.

' :''' At 13th level a pie mage can summon a multi-purpose pie to help them in their tasks. A pie floats around them as if an iuon stone. As a free action, once per round, the pie mage can have the iuon pie grant his Charisma bonus as a shield bonus to AC, a circumstance bonus to a single attack, or a circumstance bonus on any skill check which does not require hands. In addition it may make listen and spot checks on its own with a bonus equal to 1/2 your class level, and may be commanded as a move action to fly up to 100 ft away from you. The iuon pie lasts for 24 hours and has hardness 5 and 2 hp per class level.

 : At 13th level, the pie mage may now use his culinary creations to duplicate the effects of major creation. Yes, now he can even make adamantine pies if he so wished, such is the power of his baking. Dwarves everywhere mush be awed by his prowess.

' :''' At 14th level, the pie mage may cook the ground itself into delicious pie for 1 minute/level. The pie mage may make up to one 5 ft. cube per level of ground into delicious soft pie in any shape he wants. Creatures standing on this pie are reduced to 5 ft. of movement with no save, and start to sink into its gooey misasma at 5 ft down a round. If the pit is unusually deep it is possible it will go over the creature's head and they will suffocate in pie. They may avoid sinking with a swim check, DC equal to 10 + your class level, though they may never move more than 5 ft. a round while in the pie. In addition you can make the pie unusually hot or chilled, dealing 4d6 points of fire or cold damage to creatures stuck in the pie each round, chosen on creation. You may only have one pudding pie pit in action at one time, casting it a second time dispels the first and ejects any creatures within, through they are ejected prone. They are also ejected if the duration expires.

' :''' At 15th level the pie mage becomes one with the pie. He gains a delicious pie-filled body and obtains construct-like traits. This functions like iron body except your speed is not reduced, you do not gain damage reduction, and you instead obtain fast healing equal to your class level. You may use this ability up to your Charisma modifier times per day (minimum 1).

' :''' At 16th level you create a pie so perfect that to stare at it is to see forever. You may summon the perfect pie in a square and any creatures within a 20 ft. radius immediate stop and gaze at the pie's wonderous sensation if they fail a Will save DC 10 + 1/2 + Cha for 1 round/level. They are treated as dazed for as long as the pie exists, ignoring all threats to their well being. They gain another saving throw if attacked or harmed. If the perfect pie is moved or disturbed from its spot, the effect also ends. On casting you may assign up to your Charisma modifier in creatures which are immune (and you yourself are always immune). This is a mind-affecting effect. You may use this ability up to your Charisma modifier times per day (minimum 1).

' :''' At 17th level, a pie mage summons the might of the mystic moon pies from beyond. This duplicates the effect of meteor swarm except this damage is the same type of damage as pie toss, and if all four pies hit a single target they deal +2 extra points of damage per class level.

' :' At 18th level, a pie mage may use any pie as a focus for a gate'' spell, though he may link the gate anywhere either on his current plane or another plane. If used to summon creatures, the caster pays the XP cost as normal, and he is limited to creatures whose CR are his class level +2 or lower. Pie mages are well known for popping in and out of pies all over the world.

 : At 19th level, a pie mage learns how to truly do anything with his culinary mastery. All the culinary creation abilities are reduced to a standard action.

He becomes an Outsider, though he may count as a member of his original race and type when beneficial, and also becomes immortal and ageless. He gains fast healing equal to 1/2 his class level (this stacks with the fast healing of pie body), and he is able to speak with food as if using stone tell as a free action at will. He will undoubtly bring in a second coming of taste, and forever change the culinary world.

Epic Pie Mage
Spell Pie: At every level listed above, the pie mage can learn one sorcerer/wizard spell from any level and transform it into a spell-like ability which is useable 2/day. The spell inevitably becomes pie-themed, and he must still pay any xp cost or gp costs which are over 250 gp. He can select the same spell (increasing its uses per day) or a different spell each time.



Epic Pie Mage Bonus Feat List: PENDING.

Human Pie Mage Starting Package
Weapons: Knife.

Skill Selection: Pick a number of skills equal to 5 + Int modifier.

Feat: Point Blank Shot.

Bonus Feats: Precise Shot.

Gear: Chain Shirt, Backpack.

Gold: 21g.

Playing a Pie Mage
Religion: Pie mages love food. If there are any gods of food, you can be sure that pie mages will be praying in their delicious, pie scented temples before you know it.

Other Classes: Other classes may not take the pie mage seriously, but when they see the 51 forbidden flavors of the fae produced before their very eyes, even the most stuck-up paladin will weep with the power of pie.

Combat: Pie mages are a bit like sorcerers with a severe sweet tooth. Treat them accordingly. Preferably with lots of sugary treats.

Advancement: Pie mages do not mix well with most prestige classes, what with all their spells being learned as part of their class.

Pie Mages in the World
"I shall bake him such a pie that he will die from it."

Daily Life: Pie mages are everywhere, most people don't notice. That innocent NPC baker may be a powerful pie mage and you simply not realize it.

Notables: Key Tzu is a famous pie mage known for organizing the arts in a cookbook: How to Serve Man... Pie.

Organizations: Pie mages have recently organized a "Tin Chef" compitition to determine which pie making art is the best. Results are pending...

NPC Reactions: No NPC can resist the sweetness of a pie mage. One whif, and commoners bow to taste test the pie mage's wares.

Pie Mage Lore
Characters with ranks in Knowledge Local can research pie mages to learn more about them. When a character makes a skill check, read or paraphrase the following, including information from lower DCs.

Pie Mages in the Game
Adaptation: Pie Mages have a strong suggestion that their powers may stem from psionics. They might count as some kind of weird psionic class. Alternatively, this works with any food item. Cake Mages are delicious too.

Sample Encounter: The king and all his court are in love with the new baker's pies, to the point where the baker has real political clout. There's something suspicious about Mr. Creamsworth and his pies...

EL 10: PENDING