User:Spazalicious Chaos/The Suoicilazaps Device (3.5e Artifact)

Origins
This device supposededly fell from the heavens millenia ago, though every scholar who claims to know it's origin is lying. Even it's name is something of a myth, supposedly the name was given to it by Vecna himself, though in truth that was merely the first thing he said when it was activated.

Appearance
The Device is a silver sphere covered in markings and the writings of a made-up language, every bit of it the equivelant of size 1 font. Players who attempt to dechipher the markings automatically fail, but may activate one of it's Knowledge or Decipher Script functions (90% chance per attempt), and the GM is free to make up any "translation" the player comes away with, though in every case it is wrong.

Uses/Functions
The Suoicilazasps Device may be used with any roll. ANY roll or check of ANY kind. However, the user never determines how the Device affects the check, or even when it takes effect. For each attempt at using the Device, find the check attempted below and roll on the coresponding table.