Talk:Rothan (3.5e Race)

Sauron
Sauron, eh? But not this Sauron from Lord of the Rings or that Sauron from those X-Men comics (and possibly any of the other things that match up on their disambiguation page). Anyhow, I think the LotR version is the biggest clash (as it and DnD share the same genre). I recommend a name change to avoid confusion, unless of course there is some fancy reason for this name.

As for the race itself, it looks very strange to have "as human" on all those lines. A summary sentence at the top and the removal of those sections would do the trick. Really though, there's gotta be some sort of difference with telekinetic humans socially than typical humans as well as how typical humans view them and how they view typical humans. Why and how did they branch from typical humans? What were the circumstances behind this? Give the readers something to enjoy to get them into the spirit of wanting to play this race. Also, you'll need to denote what kind of ability their hovering is (Extraordinary, Supernatural, Psionic, Spell-like) since it's not given (purposely) in the base ability. Additionally, why do they have a different subtype rather than the Human Subtype as they are related to humans? Is there a mechanical reason for this? Finally, feet is listed twice under their base land speed. --Ganteka Future 20:48, 2 January 2011 (UTC)

The New Name and Writing
Oh man oh man. I actually think the new name might be worse, as it seems to conjure unpleasant mental images for me. Rot (as in rotting and decay) + hund (german for "hound" or dog if I recall) + rotund (a word basically meaning "fat") and I don't get a pretty picture out of it. It also feels awkward to think about. Is it supposed to be pronounced "roth-und", "ro-thund" or even "rot-hund"? A variation on it would work fine, like "rothan" or some such thing of your choosing that flows off the tongue easier.

Also, I did some proofreading of the new flavor text, and a lot of it reads very awkwardly as well. In the portion about Relations, I have no idea who the "they"s often refer to, since the subject of "they" could be either the drow or this race. I recommend reading it out loud. As for writing in general, ask someone to proofread if you can. It really helps. As for ideas, take some notes down and gradually develop and think about the race. --Ganteka Future 06:38, 6 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Woo, apparently rothund is an actual thing, well, the german name for this: Dhole
 * You learn something new everyday. --Ganteka Future 06:43, 6 January 2011 (UTC)


 * Sorry, Ill change the name to Rothan.