Gift Golem (3.5e Monster)

''The figure is humanoid, but blocky, composed of dozens of brightly colored boxes all tied up with string. It seems very festive, even with the ominous mono-eye glowing from a box for a head, empty and seemingly infinitely deep. It begins to swing its jolly red bag above its head, waiting.''

This golem has a humanoid body made from presents, bound with animated ribbon and string as muscles. It's very festive, but is said to be used to drag people away to work making toys in some cold forbidden land.

A gift golem golem rarely makes noise, but does speak occasional, apparently pre-programmed messages such as 'ho ho ho' and 'peace on earth'. It doesn't seem to realize when good times to speak are, and so you get things like 'peace on earth' while it is bludgeoning you to death. It walks briskly for its size. It weighs a mere 200 pounds.

The Jolly Red Bag, chosen weapon of the Gift Golem, is effectively a Huge Sap. A gift golem can use it without penalty, and is proficient in its use.

Combat
A gift golem charges into battle, dancing with apparent joy as they start out with their Random Gift powers. They continue to spew gifts until something favorable comes out, then proceeds to haste, attack, and wrap up opponents. After wrapping up one person it is liable to run, in order to absorb the body.

Random Gift :  As a standard action one of the gifts on the gift golem's body will open up, spewing forth incredible wonders to behold. It may be good. It may be bad. Who knows. Roll a d20 and find out below!

1: An explosion of fire erupts from the golem, dealing 10d6 fire damage to everyone in a 20 ft. radius, DC 15 Reflex for half. The DC is Con based.

2-3: One opponent benefits from an Inflict Critical Wounds spell for 4d8+10 damage.

4-7: A sword springs out and stabs someone for 2d8+10 damage. It deals half damage to those immune to critical hits, and counts as magic and silver for bypassing damage reduction. The enemy is considered flatfooted for this attack.

8-11: A cone of random objects spew forth in a 60 ft blast. The objects themselves are harmless, but those in the area are blinded for 1 round as the objects swarm about them and obscure their vision beyond 5 ft, no save.

12-15: A cute doll version of one of the opponents springs out and animates, acting as a Kopi Doll for 5 rounds, before falling inert. It remains afterward as a mundane stuffed toy.

16-18: Nothing but a puff of smoke comes out.

19: 2d10x10 gold pieces fly out in a 60 ft. cone, dealing 2d10 bludgeoning, Reflex half DC 15. The DC is Con based. The gold remains as treasure afterward.

20: One opponent benefits from a Cure Critical Wounds spell for 4d8+10 hp.

Wrap Up :  The gift golem may attempt to grapple an opponent without provoking an attack of opportunity. If successful, the gift golem is not grappled, but instead stuffs the target into one of it's gift boxes, squeezing it into something much too small often. The target is thus trapped, effectively swallowed, and takes 2d6+5 nonlethal damage every round until they cut themselves free with a piercing or slashing weapon, dealing at least 20 points of damage in a single round. This damage does not count towards the gift golem's hp, but any damage over 20 points is applied to the gift golem as if it had been stuck in combat.

If someone is knocked unconscious by the gift golem's jolly red bag (effectively a Huge Sap), they are automatically wrapped up. Once trapped inside the golem may flee. If the person has not been released from the gift within 24 hours, they are absorbed and transported to a demiplane where they forget their past life, and make toys. A Remove Curse spell of at least 10th caster level can return the person's mind... if their saviors can find the demiplane.

Death Throes : When reduced to 0 hp or less, the gift golem explodes. Roll 10 times on the Random Gift chart to see what comes out, with targets at random. Any doll-copies generated are not animated.

Haste :  After it has engaged in at least 1 round of combat, a gift golem can haste itself once per day as a free action. The effect lasts 3 rounds and is otherwise the same as the spell.

Vulnerable to Fire : Being composed largely of children's toys, the gift golem is quite flammable, and a choking hazard. The gift golem takes 150% damage from fire.