Boredom Dragon (3.5e Monster)

Boredom Dragon
''It's a dragon, I guess. I thought they'd be more interesting, but this is just a boring gray dragon. What's there to say?''

In dusty libraries and ancient tomes of old lies the most dull of all dragons, the I-suppose-they-might-be-deadly boredom dragons. They are not well known for they aren't unusually glorious or unusually violent or terribly majestic in any way. Most barely remember running across one, it was such a dull footnote. From what can be told, boredom dragons appear very much as a generic western fantasy dragon, with dull gray scales, gray eyes, and almost no contrast or shine to their scales. This mundanity helps them survive for few bother them or bother with them. They value boring textbooks and mundane boring items more than piles of gold, and are usually found in forgotten libraries reading dictionaries and books on the proper cleaning and management of golf clubs.

Unfortunately for those who encounter them, boredom dragons love to talk, and will talk with anyone who is willing to listen, or who manages to be unable to run away from its attempts at talking them down. Even combat is a form of discussion. After all, "talking is a free action", and its something they love to abuse. With all the words they say it is amazing how they manage to say nothing at all.

Combat
Boredom dragons don't like combat much and will usually try to talk through a situation. But when in combat, they continue to talk. And talk. And talk. They use their nonlethal or sleep breath weapons, psionic powers, and other abilities to focus on disabling an opponent and returning things to a state of discussion. They only kill in self defense because a dead adventurer is no good to them. Who will listen to the stories about how the weather is lovely this day, or how water is wet? Woe be the dead adventurer if the dragon can raise the dead, for they will find no peace from this boredom.


 * Psionics

Juvenile boredom dragons use psionics instead of arcane spellcasting, and cast as a psion of the appropriate manifester level. They use their Intelligence for their psionic powers.


 * Aura of Fascination

Young adult boredom dragons do not have a frightful presence. Instead, they have an aura of fascination with the same range and DC as their frightful presence. Those who fall victim become fascinated for as long as they remain in the dragon's presence. In truth, it's not fascination so much as complete and utter ennui with everything. It works on other dragons, but not other boredom dragons.


 * Average Barrier

A young boredom dragon has a boring shield which protects it from attacks. The most damage any attack can do is average damage, so a fireball (10d6 at 10th and above) can only deal at most 30 damage or less.


 * Bore Anything

A wyrm boredom dragon is so boring even rocks can fall asleep. It bypasses any immunity to dazing, mind-affecting, and sleep, and can even use it against mindless creatures and objects.


 * Breath Weapon

Boredom dragons have two breath weapons, a line of non-lethal gray energy and a cone of sleep gas. The sleep gas is a Fortitude save, and lasts 1d6 rounds + 1 round per age category of the dragon.


 * Droning Word/Mass Droning Word

A wyrmling boredom dragon can ramble on forever about the most dull subjects. As a swift action one creature within the range of its breath weapon must make a Will save or be dazed for 1 round. The DC is Intelligence based.

When the boredom dragon becomes a young adult they may use Mass Droning Word, targeting up to one creature per age category in range. This version is a standard action.


 * Eternal Slumber Word

A very old boredom dragon is so boring one will fall into an eternal slumber where the creature will not need to eat, sleep, or age. They are preserved for all eternity or until awoken via break enchantment or greater abilities. As a standard action a creature must make a Will save or fall into eternal slumber. A creature which saves is immune to further eternal slumber words for 24 hours. The DC is Intelligence based.


 * Immunity to Emotions

A boredom dragon is immune to all abilities which effect emotions and mood, such as crushing despair, charm monster, and rage.


 * Oblivious Guard

A boredom dragon is so boring and so busy with its dull topics that it often forgets to react to things. It can delay any effect which it falls under for 1 round, and in doing so may end up curing or negating the effect by the time it comes into play.


 * Pitiful Barrier

A mature adult boredom dragon can make even the most flashy explosion seem "meh". As an immediate action it can minimize any die roll within range of its aura of fascination. For example it can minimize the damage of a fireball against it, or minimize the healing of a cure serious wounds cast in its area.


 * Polyglot

Very young boredom dragons are at least well learned, and masters of all kinds of trivia. At part of this they understand and can speak all languages, even those that don't exist.


 * Psi-Like Abilities PS undefined

At will- mind trap (adult or older); 3/day- disable (juvenile or older); 1/day- microcosm (great wyrm), personal mind blank (ancient or older), shatter mind blank (old or older). The saving throws are Intelligence based.


 * Unremarkable

A very young boredom dragon is so boring most don't even realize it's standing right there. It can Hide in Plain Sight at any time by simply being too boring to notice.


 * Skills

Hide, Move Silently, and all Knowledge skills are considered class skills for boredom dragons.