Massive Musical (3.5e Spell)

''You strum a few chords on your instrument and burst out into song. Within a few moments, the conversations around you have all become songs as well.''

When you cast this spell, you place a powerful magic curse on the land... a curse that transforms all conversations into songs. All creatures in the area with an Intelligence score of 3 or higher and the capacity for language must succeed on a Will save; if they fail, they lose the ability to speak normally and instead have to sing out everything they say. Creatures who enter the area during the spell's effect must immediately make a Will save, but only one Will save is necessary (or allowed) for any given creature for the entire duration of the spell. Creatures leaving the area find the spell's effects lifted, but they immediately resume if they re-enter the area while the spell's still in effect (they don't get another Will save). Creatures that succeeded on the Will save the first time can freely leave and re-enter the spell's area without risk of being affected. The spell also compels creatures to behave in an excessively theatrical, dramatic way. Verbal and somatic components of all spells cast in the area have a 50% chance to be screwed up by the caster overdoing it, resulting in the spell being wasted. All affected creatures also take a -4 penalty to Concentration checks, due to the jarring transition from speech to music imposed upon their minds. Also, everyone affected by the spell looks like a gigantic tool as a result, taking a -3 penalty to Charisma, to a minimum of 4 (which may render Charisma-based spellcasting less effective). Bards (including you) are completely immune to the effects of this spell - they still sing everything they say and overperform, but they don't take any penalties (or spell failure chance) as a result because they sing everything they say and overperform anyways.

The DC of all Listen checks in the area are increased by 4, as the singing tends to drown out mundane noises (or, alternatively, the mundane noises actually become part of the music). Either way, there's so much background noise that it's hard to hear anything specific. Furthermore, Concentration checks have their DCs increased by 1, as the incessant singing makes any distraction more blatant and harder to ignore. This part of the spell affects even bards (including you) and creatures who succeed on their Will saves, as it's actually influencing the environment rather than the characters/creatures in question. However, if 80% or more of the spell's potential subjects succeed on their Will saves, the remainder forced to sing isn't loud enough to drown out other sounds, and so the Concentration DC increase is negated and the Listen DC increase can be reduced or even eliminated outright. (Considering that the majority of the population in most areas consists of 1st-level commoners and warriors with poor Will saves, this clause is unlikely to come into play.)

For extra fun, the DM should also sing everything he says, and make the players do the same, while this spell's in effect. (Players whose characters succeeded on their Will saves shouldn't be made to sing.)

Massive musical can be made permanent with a permanency spell. The caster of the permanency spell must be at least caster level 9th and must pay 2,000 XP.

Focus: A skillfully crafted masterwork musical instrument (its creator's Craft check to create it must have exceeded 33), worth at least 2,000 gp.

XP Cost: 50 XP.