Sigil Prep (3.5e Campaign Setting)/Classes

The College of Arcane Knowledge
In which students learn the arts of true magic, and its various interpretations and practices.

Dean of Arcane Knowledge: Mordenkainen of Greyhawk

Bard
The Program: The Bard College at Sigil Prep is worlds renowned. A wide and diverse faculty offers training in any musical instrument and performing style imaginable, even if your ear for music falls to the comb and wax paper. No fewer than thirty-six bands, orchestras, and choruses are available for extracurricular display of talent. Professor Emeritus is the notable Storm Silverhand of Faerun, Chosen of Mystra, Bard of Shadowdale, one of the Seven Sisters, High Harper, and lead singer and guitarist of Silverhand. Course load is intense, and includes at least one performance class a semester, as well as Music Appreciation, Enforced Music Appreciation, Arcane Studies (up to level 6), and Obscure Knowledge I to IV.

“Let’s see. I play lute, lyre, fife, pan pipes, harp, pipe organ, xylophone, dulcimer, bells, trumpet, and bagpipe. Oh, and mah jongg. *snort* Get it? I play *snicker* mah jongg. Hahahahah!!!!” -–Gimble, 2nd year gnome bard and captain of the chess team

“You only go to Bard School because you love to learn. That’s why so many gnomes become bards. And why so many bards are in chess club.” -–Kailey, 4th year tiefling sorcerer

“Yeah, that’s my axe. Wanna hear a ballad, babe? I wrote it for you.” -–Devis, 3rd year human bard

Beguiler
The Program: Use magic to manipulate those around you. You know you want to. I mean, only a total loser would not want to belong to this major. You're not a loser, are you? Hells no, you're beguiler material. Only a strong, intelligent, cool person like you has what it takes to be a beguiler. I mean, really, you know what I'm saying, right? You're not stupid. Come on and sign up. All your friends are doing it.

"I just know you're going to put my picture in your little course book aren't you? With a nice, fun flavor quote, hmmm?  Just tell me what you... want.. me... to... do..." ''--Anastria Nailo... ahem, uh, 2nd year half-elf beguiler... heh-heh... hi, Anastria...''

"Wait... Korrick's a beguiler? He's like the ugliest guy I've ever seen.  How does he, like, beguile or whatever..?  Oh..." --Mialee, and we'll leave it up to your imagination

"Cloaked casting? You can blindside people with spells?  Hey, Naull!  Guess what!" --Lidda, once again Naull's greatest fear

Dread Necromancer
The Program: Necromancy students are never satisfied. Simply specializing in a school of magic? Mundane. Being a cleric of a god of death. Bah! (Necromancy students like to say "Bah!") Transferring to the True Necromancer program? Takes too long to qualify. So, in his wisdom, Professor Strahd von Zoravich initiated the Dread Necromancer program, where students can deal with the dead all day long. Students must pass a physical health exam to enter; and fail one to graduate.

"Hmmm. Yeah, Regdar, he's... cute.  Maybe Devis, very... nice eyes.  But really, I'm looking for someone a little more like Orcus." --Kazerabet, 3rd year human Dread Necromancer

"Well, let's see. Uh, I guess I've always wanted to be a familiar.  I've been in the Blood Wars, so there's that.  Yeah.  Killed a lemure.  It's all on the resume." --Fafth, quasit, applying for Kazerabet's open familiar slot

"Sigh. Looks like I've got a busy semester ahead of me." --Yffub, the Ranger Who Has Chosen Undead As Her Favored Enemy

Duskblade
The Program: It's everything you want. Fighter-level combat skills, arcane spells starting with your very first level. Spontaneously cast anything you know. Cast in armor, deliver spells with your sword. You'll be so cool, you won't need to play sports to get athletic perks from Mialee.

"And two good saves. Don't forget two good saves." --Yele, 1st year elf duskblade

"Yeah, that's swell there, Yele. Fireball!" --Kailey, 3rd year tiefling sorcerer, reminding him of that save in between

"Shocking Grasp, swift action, activated through the sword, full attack." --Hallia, 5th year human duskblade "Oh, yeah, baby.  That's hot." --Regdar, 5th year human horndog "That was a threat, you moron." Hallia

Factotum
"I'm afraid the Factotum program is not in Arcane Studies. Yes, their abilities duplicate arcane spells, but there are no spell slots and such.  That's the class with the Opportunistic Piety, yes?  Perhaps you should check with the Divine Thought school." --Mordenkainen, Dean of Arcane Studies

Hexblade
The Program: Sigil Prep trains the best Hexblades in the known planes. Both combat intensive and magically trained, the Hexblade is respected across the campus, and far beyond. There is a rivalry between students in this program and the Paladin School that is encouraged, so long as it remains healthy. (That is, as long as we remain healthy. Who cares about them?) The school does not supply familiars to Hexblade students.

"It's the cursing people I love most. Last night's loss against the utterly pathetic Shadovar team?  My curse.  Naull couldn't get out of the way, even knowing Lidda was coming?  Me.  And Lidda twisting her ankle right after, that was me, too.  And when Maddie fell out of the locker room with no clothes on?  Well, that was probably Lolth, but it was pretty cool." --Aygar, 3rd year human hexblade

"Hexblade professors rarely fail anyone. It's partially because the students are very good, but mostly because they're very vengeful." --Mordenkainen, Dean of Arcane Knowledge

"They represent everything we hate. They have no respect for Law or Goodness, they wield impure arcane magic, and they curse people for fun.  Aygar is a terrible man, but one Hell of a lover." --Alhandra, graduate human paladin

Sorcerer
The Program: Don’t be fooled. This isn’t Easy “A” magic. Just because this isn’t as reading intensive as the Wizard program, Sorcerer School has its own challenges. Research your spell choices intensely; you don’t have the option to make changes later. Accelerated students may take Arcane Studies all the way up to 9th level. The school will supply toads, though students are encouraged to arrange their own familiars.

“What brought me to Sigil Prep? Party school, right? Oh, the Sorcerer program. Um. Easy ‘A’ magic.” -–Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer

“I pick my spells based on how well they burn things. Burning Hands, Flame Arrows, Fireball. I like burning. The White campus bookstore? No, no, I was never there.” –-Gartha the Red, 2nd year human sorcerer

“So, like, um, I could have been a sorceress and stuff, right, but I decided to go the wizard route because, like, I’m so smart and junk.” –-Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

Spellthief
The Program: An unusual program, the Spellthief major teaches one of the rarest of arcane methods, the ability to use other people's spells. You also learn a few spells on your own, though we use the Wizard School's spell library to research them. Plagiarism is strictly forbidden, except in Plagiarism class, where creative thought will not be tolerated.

"I don't understand. Every time Lidda's boyfriend comes over, I forget Wall of Force." --Naull, 4th year human wizard

"And then I used the Wall of Force spell I borrowed and cast it between Krusk and the tackle dummy..." --Sebbin, 3rd year halfling spellthief

"I'll pay for the Resurrection spell, but I regret nothing." --Krusk, half-orc football player, on academic suspension

Warmage
The Program: The Warmage School is an exciting new magic arts program. Some may find its lack of utility spells limiting, but its focus can more than make up for its lack of versatility. The Warmage program is often invited to join the Marshal School in its war games against the rival schools. Spellbooks are available in all campus bookstores.

“For extra credit, I blew up the Bronze campus library. The boost to my GPA was worth the suspension.” -–Ferno, 3rd year elf warmage

“Uh... I left my spellbooks in the Bronze campus library... Can I get an extension?” –-Derrick, 1st year human warmage

“Thumb War does not include magic missiles, moron.” -–Kailey, 4th year tiefling sorcerer

Wizard
The Program: Of the Arcane studies, this is the most intense, requiring several classes, as early as first semester, in scribing and deciphering magic text. Wizards must take Arcane Studies up to 9th level, as well as learning the procedures in crafting magic items and modifying spells. Spellbooks are available in all campus bookstores. The Wizard Program offers training in all schools of magic, though students are allowed to specialize. Wizards are encouraged to supply their own familiars, though the school will supply owls (ravens to Necromancy minors).

“Studying is like, real important. But you have to socialize and stuff, too. Like, for instance, my spell pouch includes components for abjuration spells, and other kinds of protection.” -–Mialee, 5th year elf wizard/party girl

“Okay, that does it. This line is going to separate my half of the room from your half of the room. And this Wall of Force is going to reinforce this line.” -–Naull, 4th year human wizard, demonstrating the skills she’s learned to roommate Lidda

“Wizards, ha! Always in their rooms with their noses in a tome, trying to learn the difference between evocation and abjuration. Do you think sorcerers care about the difference between evocation and abjuration? Of course not, we’re getting laid.” -–Hennet, 3rd year human sorcerer, who has obviously never met Mialee

Wu Jen
The Program: Originally offered as a comparative study, the Wu Jen program is teaches arcane magic in the manner it is taught in Kara-Tur. This includes a number of electives in addition to 9 levels of Arcane Study, though the “Taboo” requirement is often difficult for new students.

“Those of us who chose ‘Cannot drink alcohol’ as our taboo, we still throw awesome parties. All-night Go tournament, tell me that isn’t cool.” -–Akahito, 2nd year fox hengeyokai wu jen

“Krusk took a ‘Cannot Bathe’ taboo, and he’s not even in the Wu Jen school! Hahaha... OW!” -–Regdar, needs to look around more

“Um, okay, Hide-Yori, like, these ‘spell secrets’ you’re so proud of. Um, you learn the same stuff in Metamagic 201. It’s required. Pretentious, much?” -–Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

The College of Divine Thought
In which students learn the devotion to forces more powerful than themselves, and what they hope to gain in these arrangements.

Dean of Divine Thought: Eberk

Archivist
The Program: Learning Divine Magic from a book? Sounds crazy, no? But in the Archivist program, we avoid gods, philosophy, and inner focus entirely and give you what you want: spells. And secrets. Lots and lots of secrets. Did you know Rakshasa are vulnerable to blessed weapons? Or that you need to beat the Tarrasque to a meaty pulp and then Wish it was dead to destroy it forever? Or that Maddie doesn't wear underwear on laundry day? Some students call this "meta-knowledge"; but for you, it's just stuff you read in a book somewhere. And that somewhere is here. (Note: This class is reading intensive.)

"All right, roll call. Zenra, changeling who is secretly a his own roommate?  Here.  Anastacia, who is pretending to have a badly designed secret identity to cover for her inept, overzealous twin sister?  Very good.  Naull, who thinks Lidda is still at home, but who is actually right behind her..." --Anselmo Durod, Archivist Professor

"Okay, I'm pretty sure the Dark Knowledge thing is supposed to reveal monster's weak spots and stuff, not where I hid Mialee's underwear" --Regdar, 5th year human fighter

"Y'know, that quote was, like, way too smart for Regdar. Maybe Professor Durod has some Dark Knowledge about what's up with that." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

Cleric
The Program: The Cleric program is one of the best of its kind, and offers basic and comparative religious studies in many diverse pantheons and faiths. Clerics must choose one deity (or approved philosophy) to revere, and is assigned to classes based on the god’s alignment. Faculty includes Heirophants of Paladine, Pelor, Corellon Larethian, Tyr, Obad-Hai, Olidammara, Bane, the Dark Six, and Lolth. Past guest speakers include Jaela Daran of the Silver Flame, and Orcus. Students must supply their own holy symbols (many available at the various campus book stores; beware knock-off holy symbols sold by street vendors during the early weeks of class. These may not be blessed.)

“By studying other faiths, my own faith in Pelor grows ever stronger. My devotion grants me the power to heal, bravery in battle, and a 13-2 wrestling record over last semester” –-Jozan, 5th year Human Cleric of Pelor

“See how he feels about Pelor when he finds out it was my Bless spells that gave him the edge on three of those matches” –-Maddie Weber, 3rd year rogue/cleric of Lolth and school spirit activist

“I’m not a cleric, but I’ve taken three semesters of Comparative Mythologies. Whenever I feel like skipping practice, it’s somebody’s holy day, right? ‘Coach Klank, I worship Tiamat, and it’s the Feast of the Red Wyrm today.’” –-Regdar, 5th year human fighter, gets by on his looks

Druid
The Program: Sigil’s Druid program is fairly laid back and concerned, as our students are, about nature. There are five fully functioning groves around campus, and all of them are open to students who would prefer to sleep there. Many sects of Druidism are accepted, and the program offers a fair mix of the teachings of most of the prime Materials. Druids may bring their animals into any campus facility. Animal Companions are optional, and not supplied by the campus.

“Yeah, I like the trees, man. Right? The trees. And the birds, man. Cool. And these little weeds right here, yeah? These are great.” –-Vadania, 4th year elf Druid, currently on probation

“They mostly hang out with each other, bathe in the lake. And their clothes? All natural fiber. Worse comes to worse, they could probably eat their clothes. Vadania may have.” –-Krusk, 3rd year half-orc barbarain

“Two words, man. Moon. Clad.” –-Regdar, big ol’ perv

Factotum
"You must be kiddin' me, lad. There's nothin' religious about these people.  You want the Non-Magical Arts college." --Eberk, Dean of Divine Thought

Favored Soul
The Program: A tricky major that requires a lot of faith and a lot of luck. To qualify, you have to convince your deity to favor your soul, which is no mean feat considering how much attention the average person gets from his deity. Not to mention how little the...uh... beloved headmistress appreciates gods in her turf. Nonetheless, the program is growing. The school will supply favored weapons if they fall within the simple or martial weapons categories. Exotic weapons must be supplied by the student.

“If you’re favored, you don’t have to deal with the dress codes clerics are stuck with. Clerics of Yondalla have to be all proper and cultured. I comb my hair with a shocking grasp spell and draw on my face with crayon.” –-Rinna, 3rd year halfling favored soul

“That isn’t really the essence of the favored soul, halfling. You represent your deity more completely than any cleric could. You should strive to uphold the ideals of your god.” -–Norell, 2nd year elf favored soul

“Yeah. I think my school improvement project this semester is going to be assassinating that goof.” –-Maddie Webber, 3rd year rogue/cleric of Lolth

Healer
The Program: The Healer program is still in its fledgling stages, but it is strong in its own way. Although it suffers from some stigmas of being “Cleric lite” or of limited use in many adventuring situations, it nonetheless produces some exquisite and highly qualified students. The major will be limited by the amount of unicorn companions available per academic year.

“If you call it ‘the Girlfriend major’ one more time, I’m going to poke you with this spear. And I won’t heal it, either. Ooooh, all right, I’ll heal it. But I’ll poke you.” -–Melina, 4th year human healer

“Oh, yeah. Lidda’s one of the department’s favorite students. She’s not a Healer, herself, but without her, they wouldn’t get nearly as much practical experience.” -–Naull, Lidda’s frequently backstabbed roommate

“Chaotic Evil students are discriminated against by this department! Does being evil preclude being civic minded? I’m in student government, the pep squad, head cheerleader, yearbook, the Campus Betterment Committee, Students for Lolth, Future Tyrants of the Underdark, and the Honor Society. I am a dangerous enemy, Healing School!!!!!” –-Maddie Webber, most quoted student, three years running

Mystic
The Program: One of the smaller majors in Sigil’s Divine School, the Mystic program allows the innately spiritual to draw power from their deep belief in select philosophies. Popular among our Krynnian students, it lacks the diversity of some divine majors, but allows for a wide range of spells to be learned, without the intervention of a deity.

“Yes, I’m familiar with Ehlonna. Now, really, would you rather worship nature itself, or a skinny hippie with too much eyeshadow?” -–Taritha, 3rd year human mystic

“I’ve read the course catalog. They don’t seem to do much. No Spontaneous Healing class, no Basics of Turning the Dead, they don’t even have to take Comparative Mythologies. I figure this is Cleric school for dumb kids.” -–Jozan, 5th level human cleric

“This bothers me. This really, really bothers me.” -–Heironeous, Greyhawk god of arrogance

Paladin
The Program: Sigil’s Paladin program is the top non-deity specific training facility in the known planes. Although each deity’s specific devotions are up to the student to learn, the Paladin School teaches the common traits, from Lawful Good Philosophies to Basic Healing 130. Paladins of sufficient skill must supply their own special mounts, though stable fees and feeding are included in tuition.

“Don’t think Atonement is going to get you off the hook, kids. I lost three semesters pleading with the high priests to get reinstated, and that was after only one tiny mistake with Female Humanoids Gone Wild Goes to Spring Break.” -–Alhandra, graduate human paladin

“Paladin. Equals. Snob. The only thing worse than a Paladin is a loser Paladin who’s rising into Junior year without getting a mount yet. Sure you’re keeping your juvenile silver dragon off campus, Merrick. I believe you.” –-Kailey, 4th year tiefling Sorcerer

“Okay, so like, maybe they’re a bit stand-offish and whatever, but you have to admit. That Cure Disease thing is pretty useful.” -–Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

Ranger
The Program: What’s great about this program? What isn’t? You get a ton of outdoor classes, you learn archery, fighting with both hands, tracking animals. You can learn the optimum attack modes to fight any number of enemies. Plus, you can bring your animal companion into any campus facility with no guff. (The School does not supply animal companions). If you love fun, the sun, and standing outside in any weather, this is the major for you!

“This is the program for real men. We love the outdoors, tracking owlbears through five miles of thickets and mud, and eating their flanks cooked rare over a campfire we built by trees we cut down ourselves.” –-Soveliss, 2nd year elf ranger

“Plus, they can totally score with those Druid chicks. Dude!” –-Regdar, 5th year human fighter

“I don’t care what your favored enemy is, you can’t go barging in here when I’m in the shower!” -–Maddie Webber, Soveliss’s favored enemy

Shaman
The Program: There are more ways to channel the divine than worship a bunch of almighty gods. You can worship a bunch of disembodied spirits, instead. The Shaman program combines the best parts of the cleric and druid schools, while allowing you to worship something you can probably kill if it pisses you off. Not that you should, mind you. We respect our spirits around here. Like the Druid, Shaman animal companions are allowed anywhere on campus. The Shaman school does not supply animals.

“Now, having learned all the arts of the shaman from this grand school, I may go back to my monkey-homeland and perform my sacred duty. Dangling newborn lion cubs over a steep cliff.” –-Fra’kiki, graduate vanara shaman

“Yeah, sometimes, the Shamans, they like to hang out at the druid groves. But, we’re nice to their faces and everything, you know...” –-Vadania, 4th year elf druid

“I’m a Spirit Shaman, you dink. That’s covered later.” –-Reestrij, 3rd year elf spirit shaman

Shugenja
The Program: A small but intimate school, the Shugenja program allows devotion and spiritual enlightenment without being tied down to any sort of personified entity. The program is based on a similar program at the Morikage School in Rokugan, though with much more generalized orders than the clan-specific schools taught at Morikage. Students must choose an element to align themselves with, and classes are divided up accordingly.

“The flame in this hand represents the fire that is my desire to learn. The flame in this hand represents the knowledge I do not yet possess. The... Oh, sorry about the curtains...” –-Hohoshi, human shugenja student teacher

“On one hand, there is the freedom of drawing one’s power from the Air itself, rather than some impersonal deity that claims to control it. On the other hand, the Cleric doesn’t have to write all his spells down. Is there a Cure Carpal Tunnel spell?” –-Oyumi, 1st year human (Crab clan) shugenja

“You know what happens to people who draw divine power without a deity? Lolth eats your souls when you die!” –-Maddie Webber, once again pushing the limits of religious free speech

Sohei
The Program: Imagine taking the personal insight of a Monk, and give them the opportunity to get really ticked off once in a while. There you have the Sohei, a little known major that allows you to channel your chi into a whirlwind of berserk energy. The Meditation Lab is intense, and eventually allows you to channel divine magic from your own faith in yourself. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Come on over. Please. We only have six students.

“Krusk used to date a Sohei girl. They had a fight once, and the whole dorm collapsed.” -–Regdar, 5th year human fighter

“Let’s not get carried away here. It was clearly a pity date.” -–Zanako, 5th year human sohei

“Sure was, babe. I felt sorry for you.” -–Krusk, 3rd year orc barbarian

Spirit Shaman
The Program: Similar to the Shaman program, in that we teach the fine art of worshiping spirits. However, the Spirit Shaman takes that to a different place. Rather than using faith in spirits to draw powers similar to the Cleric, we teach you to manipulate the spirits themselves to do your bidding. Stupid spirits. That'll show them.

"I draw upon the power of my spirit guide, the mighty raccoon! Bow to my raccoon, um, curiosity!" --Reestrij, 3rd year elf spirit shaman

"Right. Um, I took a spirit journey once.  I think.  That's where the colors chase you around, right?" --Vadania, 4th year elf druid

"Pixies should not take this class. Every time they practice that Chastise Spirits thing, Pixies die! All the clapping in the world isn't helping with this." --Tink, who just realized fey count as spirits

The College of Psionic Meditation
In which people with really focused minds stare at walls and like it.

Dean of Psionic Meditation: Neeva of Athas

Ardent
The Program: Choose the paths that work for you. Devote yourself to Light and Darkness, as well as Freedom, then next level choose Evil. Or the Elements. It's great fun. No pesky deities to limit your choices. Why not Good and Evil? It's all good.

"My ass, it's all good. My selection of powers is restricted entirely to my mantles?  Jozan's spells aren't restricted to his domains!  Where' the justice, where's the justice, I ask you?" --Melmen, 1st year human ardent

"Mmm-hmm, mm-hmm. So, like, Time Mantle, you say?  Um, could you give me, like, last Thursday back?" --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

"So, with the ability to draw power from universal concepts themselves, I really see no reason for the gods... Ack!" --Chivaron, 3rd year human ardent, taking Chaotic Good philosophies from Donar Wotanson, cleric of Thor

Divine Mind
The Program: Psionicists devoted to deities. Sounds crazy? Well, it's not! It most certainly is not! Sure, clerics get spells right off the bat, and Divine Minds don't get powers until, well, generally mid-Sophomore year. And sure Clerics can choose two domains right off the bat. And Divine Minds only get one... until later... but, hey! We eventually offer three! And they're every bit as good as cleric domains! They are!

"I devote myself to Zuoken, God of Mental Perfection" --Dodd, 2nd year half-giant Divine Mind

"Yeah, me too. Most of us do.  He's the only deity specifically geared for Psionicists." --Josie, 2nd year human Divine Mind

"Oh, guess what. We can't turn undead, either" --Chavv, 2nd year formerly human, now vampire spawn, Divine Mind

Erudite
The Program: Although technically a psion with a specific academic focus, the Erudite differs just enough to stick him in the back of the course catalog. By creating a repertoire, you can effectively learn any and all Psion powers, but you can only use a few each day. Sort of like the Wizard, but without a cat or raven to talk to. You could talk to your psicrystal, but they've got pretty narrow personalities. It's a lonely major, it really is...

"That wasn't a very positive description. How do you expect students to sign up with a description that insults the course?" --Professor Bartles Mindseye, human erudite professor

"Haha. You got wizard in my psion." --Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian. "Hehe. You got psion in my wizard." --Regdar, 5th year human fighter. "I'm not your wizard, and where I put the psion is my business." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

"No... no... I wanted to learn a power from a discipline, not the power of discipline." --Tiddrick, 1st year human erudite, to Vicola, 4th year cleric of Loviatar

Lurk
The Program: Sneaky and manipulative. Dangerous when you don't see them, and evasive when you do. The Lurk program combines the best features of the Rogue, with vast (well, moderate) psionic power. Plus, we just tend to better smarter than rogues.

"'Plus we just tend to be smarter than rogues' Yeah, how many skills do you have, Nesstine?" --Kerwyn, 3rd year human rogue

"Little known fact, but one of the Lurk's other special abilities, is to hang around message boards without actually posting." --Gimble, 2nd year gnome geek

"Screw you, Kerwyn. I can sneak attack undead.  Can you sneak attack undead?  Can you?" --Nesstine, 2nd year elan lurk, and eventual Kerwyn bedmate (you know these types of arguments always lead there)

Psion
The Program: The Psion program is the cornerstone of Sigil’s College of Psionic Meditation. We pride ourselves on the care and devotion we give to each student’s mind, and can guarantee that this year there are no subversive plans to groom their empowered brains for illithid feeding. With exceptional sub-programs in all disciplines, many Psions are graduated each year. Each student is responsible for his or her own psicrystal.

“It is odd to me that the intense training of psionic gifts results in the hair loss of many students. It never seems to affect the women” –Ialdabode, 2nd year human telepath

“See, every year the Psi Omega sorority goes around to the boy’s dorms and shaves their heads. It’s like a ritual.” –Mitra, 4th year human shaper

“So, like, it’s pretty much just staring at the wall for eight hours a day, right? At least monks get to throw punches and stuff” –Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

Psychic Warrior
The Program: A more physically intensive psionics program, the Psychic Warrior is perfect for jocks and others who wish to mix their psychic gifts with a more corporeal regimen. This program offers a number of electives, though a meditation lab is required.

“I think the best part of being a psychic warrior over a psion, is I don’t have to carry a rock around” –Sandharrow, 1st year half-giant psychic warrior

“It’s a good foundation for expanded learning. I’ve been trying to transfer to an Illithid Slayer prestige program. I meet all the qualifications, but my advisor, Mr. I’gn’tharia won’t sign my papers.” –Ragnara, 4th year maenad psychic warrior

“Try? There is no try. This a pass or fail class is. If fail you do, next semester come back you must.” –Mr. Dah, blue goblin psychics theory professor

Soulknife
The Program: Though it falls under the College of Psionic Meditation, this program does not offer traditional psionic manifestation. Rather, it is a specifically geared program dedicated toward channeling your psionic potential into forging psychic weaponry. The most physically intensive of all the psionic majors, Soulknife students generally go on to important careers after graduation.

“We hire fifteen soulknives a year on average, mostly from Sigil Prep’s graduating class. We’re looking for motivated individuals who don’t ask questions” –the Night Masks, major Faerun employer

“A few years ago, there was a series of murders on campus, vicious slashings, and no murder weapon was found. Every Soulknife major was held under house arrest and interrogated. Those guys are scary, let me tell you. So okay, it turned out to be somebody’s imp familiar with a pair of scissors. Still, it could have been a soulknife.” –Regdar, never one to let misinformation spoil a good story

“People tend to want to glamorize the violence of this program. In truth, it’s a very insightful, exciting path to self-discovery and... Wait, I’m not done with my quote yet!” –Xerxes, 3rd year Xeph soulknife

Wilder
The Program: While Wilders are certainly the result of natural ability, much like artists, actors, and sorcerers, it is that spark of natural talent that we fan into the flame of true greatness. It is emotion that fuels your powers, and we teach you to unleash your emotions in ways that you haven’t envisioned yet. All students must sign a waiver to enter this program.

“They’re nuts. All of them, just nuts” –Mitra, 4th year human psion

“Shut up or I’ll shove that astral construct of yours down your sissy-girl throat.” –Eulad, 4th year human wilder

“So, like, what’s this about surging euphoria?” –Vadania, 4th year elf druid

The College of Non-Traditional Magic
In which students learn to use magic in ways the gods never intended, and they like it.

Dean of Non-Traditional Magic: Morthos

Artificer
The Program: The Artificer program is a demanding course, requiring intelligence, concentration, and natural talent. There are labs required every semester, from the basics of Scroll Scribing and Alchemy, to the more exacting sciences of Forging Rings and Creating Staves. The school supplies raw materials for class experiments, but students must purchase their own materials for projects and home assignments. Krynnian Gnomes are required to show proof of insurance before enrolling.

"Our l337 sk1llz r00l, su)(0rs! We pwn u h4x!  N00bs ph33r r m4d sk1llz!" --Thondred, 4th year dwarf artificer

"Come again?" --Kailey, who just added Artificers to the list of people she hates

"I appreciate the school spirit, there, Thon, but the only way we can add your iron golems to our defensive line is for you to awaken them and get them enrolled." --Coach Klank, warforged football coach

Binder
The Program: The secrets of Pact Magic are strange and frightening. Suck the very vestige of a legendary, long gone figure from thin air and bind it to your presence, to get strange and unusual powers. The devil prince Geryon, the demon lord Tenebrous, Primus the One and the Prime, Richie's older brother Chuck Cunningham; gone from history, but now they can be part of your own personal arsenal. The program is small and growing, as soon as we can convince the villagers to stop burning the undergrads at the stake.

"Binding to the Prince of Tears, Focalor, grants the power to control the lightning, to live beneath the waves, to cause anguish in even the strongest wills. You also get Focalor's Breath, so I usually carry a roll of mints..." --Morden, 2nd year dwarf binder

"I tried it for a semester, but I just had the feeling that Andromalius was enjoying the binding too much..." --Sara d'Orien, 3rd year human binder/soulborn

"Frankly, I'm glad the vestige opportunity came up. There's not much work for an out of work Lord of Hell, and the Unemployment Office was quickly losing patience with my excuses." --Geryon, former Lord of the Fifth, and edition-change victim

Dragonfire Adept
The Program: The ongoing controversy regarding demonic contracts to fill the course requirements for the Warlock program has been at least slightly addressed. The array of powers acquired for the Dragonfire Adept is similar to that of a Warlock, but with this major difference - Dragonfire Adepts get a breath weapon instead of eldrich blasts. And no actual contracts are involved - you just have to think about dragons a lot.

"Let this be a lesson to you, students. Just because you can breathe fire once per round every round doesn't mean you should." --Tatiana Flameworthy, Dragonfire Adept course supervisor, going through the annual ritual of replacing all the furniture in the freshman classroom

"I do hope they don't imagine this little motif change is going to fool anyone. Warlocks were here first. And get more invocations. And tidy damage reduction, as opposed to that ridiculous scaly skin armor thing. And far more specific and precise Knowledge skills than that lame (all skills, taken individually) crap. And a far less bloated skill list in general. And one neatly pertinent good save instead of two. ... ... ... ... Hate. Them." --Morthos, seeing trouble looming for his department

"You get dragontouched on entry into this class? What's the big deal? I get dragontouched every time I go to the Brass Dragons' spring formal." --Mialee, ever the innocent, metaphorically speaking

Eidoloncer
There is not an official Eidoloncer program at Sigil Prep, although we do accept program transfers from Manifest Academy. Students are allowed to do independent study in Eidoloncer in conjunction with any spellcasting major. Incorporeal students are not allowed to participate in contact sports.

“I was fencing team captain at Manifest. I transferred here for the superior drama classes, but they won’t let me fence. How do you make decisions like this?” -–Anna, elf ghost eidoloncer transfer

“Drama classes nothing. She transferred here on a vengeance quest. See, I’m the one that killed her in the first place. It was a close match, but... widow venom, you know.” -–Maddie Webber, captain, Sigil Prep fencing team

“Ghosts. Next they’ll be letting vampires in here. Though, come to think of it, that might be preferable to Lidda.” -–Naull, 4th year human wizard

Factotum
"Clearly, this class utilizes Arcane magic. That is... hardly Non-traditional, don't you think?  I suggest you look for it under Arcane Studies.  Do not bother me again, unless you have a legitimate request.  Thank you." --Morthos, Dean of Non-Traditional Magic

Shadowcaster
The Program: True magic comes from shadow. (That's what I've been saying for years --Shar, Faerunian goddess of Darkness) The simple arcane arts of the wizard barely scratches the surface of true power. (Why wasn't I consulted on this? --Shar) This program allows the student to learn the truest, highest form of magic, even allowing the truly adept to trade in their previous arcane learning for even greater shadow mysteries. (Okay, I demand royalties here! --Shar) Note that Shadow Magic is not the same as the Shadow Weave of Faerun. (What!? @#*& --Shar)

"No! No one gets flavor quotes until I get my due, here!" --Shar, Faerunian Goddess of Darkness, Shadow, and, apparently, Beating a Dead Horse

"Well, that's just great! I'm the official portrait character for the Shadowcaster class, and I got bumped out of the first quote spot by a whiny off-plane goddess." --Irrin Coradran, 4th year human shadowcaster

"Ummm... like, the shadowcaster program seems to be embroiled in some sort of holy war thing, or something... Um... I like sex?" --Mialee, not good at stalling

Truenamer
Program: Truename magic! Everything has a secret name, that gives you power over it. Heal wounds, make your allies fly, render them immune to fire, or make them as unto a celestial. All by saying difficult to pronounce words that you'll probably get wrong as often as not. Students will be told their own truenames when they enroll.

"Which gives them power over you! Don't fall for it, people!  They're collecting truenames, social security numbers, and why?  Ask yourself why?" --Rhionna, 2nd year Averial bard/marshal and student activist

"So then Al-terranthal'sissassist'al'ralli-chan says to Mi'etoerron'dal-fisk'dal'that, 'You would not believe the po'rakthoral-sanjasta'ronfall'tor that he brought home.' But then hak'dikakaka'ronshalli'opstordonkahoday said..." --Khetarin, 3rd year half-elf truenamer

"And oddly, Professor Raistlin's truename? Bob.  I swear." --Jenn, 1st year human truenamer

Warlock
The Program: Becoming a Warlock is difficult, not simply because of the skills and talents needed, but because of the reaction of your peers. Hang your peers. You don't need them. You never needed them. Unbridled power is your friend, the manipulation of Eldritch energy is your lover. You will learn to use magic in ways Wizards and Sorcerers have never imagined in their pale, puny thoughts.

"Good evening. I will be your Eldritch Studies teacher.  I am not patient.  You will find it ambiguous as to whether I am Evil, or just unpleasant.  And most of all, I talk.  Very.  Very...........

Slowly." --Professor Morthos, head of the Warlock Department

"It's an endless cycle. The Warmages prank the Warlocks by lobbing fireballs into their labs.  The Warlocks prank the Warmages by shooting them in the face with Eldritch energy." --Ferno, 3rd year elf warmage

"They conspire with demons, I tell you. DEMONS!  Demons are not nice people!" --Merrick, 4th year aasimar paladin

The College of Non-Magical Arts
In which our students learn that adventuring isn't all about casting spells.

Dean of Non-Magical Arts is Professor Tanis Half-Elven of Krynn

Barbarian
The Program: Why teach Barbarianism? Most barbarians were brought up that way, right? Sigil Prep sees the value of training in every field of adventuring study. Sigil Prep is the only major institute in the Great Wheel that offers a comprehensive Barbarian program. Required classes include Weapons Study and Handling, Anger Management, Advanced Anger Management, and Mighty Advanced Anger Management. There are no reading requirements for this program if Barbarian is your only major.

“It helps me learn control and focus. I can proudly say I injured 15 opposing quarterbacks last season.” -–Krusk, 3rd year orc barbarian and offensive tackle

“Every school has its bullies, but only Sigil Prep goes out of their way to train them.” -–Kailey, 4th year tiefling sorcerer and outspoken cynic

“My tribe has been an active force on the plains of my native Krynn for one thousand years. We speak with the rivers, we run with the wind, we bask in the glowing gift of life from our sun. But it wasn’t until I came to Sigil Prep that I realized the value of cafeteria nachos.” –-Morrow Rainfall, 1st year human barbarian

Dragon Shaman
The Program: Have you ever thought to yourself, "Gee, I'd sure like to be a Dragon Disciple, but I hate that it'll be 3rd year before I qualify for it."? Well, here's something, anyway.

"Um, Iskara? What Dragon Shaman ability are you demonstrating exactly?  I mean, are you supposed to be some kind of undead dragon shaman or... that doesn't seem terribly iconic to me..." ''--Thane, fortunately the primary iconic, because... what's up with Iskara?''

"Yeah, me an' the guys got together and talked about it. Listorine, man.  Think about it." --Regdar, 5th year human fighter

"I realize they have magical abilities. But they don't belong in Nontraditional Magic because they have no chartable abilities like infusions, invocations, or utterances.  They simply have spell-like and supernatural abilities.  Plus... I... don't... want them." --Professor Morthos, Dean of Nontraditional Magic

Eidolon
Sigil Prep does not offer an Eidolon program, although some transfer students from Manifest Academy may have some previous experience in this program. All credits from Manifest will be accepted and applied as appropriate to your Sigil major.

“It bothers me, it really does. For all Sigil’s so-called ‘total acceptance’, it’s like it goes straight out the window if you’re already dead.” –-Perritol, elf ghost eidolon transfer

“It’s a course that teaches dead guys how to be better dead guys. What’s that about?” –-Kailey, 4th year tiefling sorcerer

“I thought my room was haunted, but it was just my new roommate. Sorry ‘bout the exorcism, dude.” –-Regdar, 5th year human fighter

Factotum
"I'm not sure why this is listed here. The Factotum program clearly uses magic, and falls under the umbrella of the Nontraditional Magic program.  My apologies"  --Tanis Half-Elven, Dean of Non-magical Arts.

Fighter
The Program: The Fighter program is popular, lots of opportunity to fight, without a lot of pressure. Required courses are Armor Optimization, and Weapons Training, in the first semester, and for the most part, it’s almost entirely electives after that, though a select list of electives must be chosen from for full credit. The school will supply leather armor and short swords, but students may bring their own weapons and armor.

“They say that Fighter School is a crib course for athletes. That’s just bunk, man.” –-Regdar, 5th year human fighter and starting quarterback, failing Exotic Ranged Weapons

“This really isn’t about being a fighter, but I hate those stupid Dramas that are set in school, where there’s always one pretty boy jock, one jerk, and one big dumb guy that always hang around together, and represent the entire football team. That ain’t life. Just ask Regdar and Krusk.” -–Tordek, 4th year dwarf fighter and offensive lineman

“Why do they have to be fighters, man? They should be lovers, right? Peace and love and like that. They start doing their fighting in my grove, I’m siccing my wolf on them.” –-Vadania, 4th year elf druid

Knight
The Program: Knights are the devoted warriors of the law. They master the arts of horsemanship, combat, and defense, all under the banner of vows of honor and loyalty. No, not paladins. No, these are knights. We don't have to be religious for one thing. No spells or healing. And you have to buy your own horse. But... knights, come on.

"It's about time, really. I mean, let's think about the swords and sorcery archetypes here.  Hmmm, wizards, knights... Oh, yeah!  Second one!" --Lady Sorra, 2nd year elf knight

"Hmmm. Now let's think how 'knight' might be a role instead of a class progression.  Like, oh, couldn't a fighter do it?  Or, say a Paladin?" --Maddie Weber, eye-rolling drow diva

"We seek the holy grail." --Sir Agrivail, 3rd year human knight "Mm-hmm.  And what's your favorite color?" --Maddie Weber "Look, I don't have time to run through this overdone comedy routine..." --Sir Agrivail, promptly flame-struck

Marshal
The Program: The Marshal School teaches leadership the way no other program does. Students will learn to inspire bravery and motivation in others, even if they don’t possess those qualities themselves. Courses include Battles and Tactics, Arts of Warfare, and the Motivation of Urgency. At the end of the year, the senior class declares war on a rival school’s Marshal program.

“Who will follow me!? We’re going off campus for pizza! For Pizza!!!” –-Tobias, 3rd year human marshal

“Most combat majors get two free Resurrections per semester. These guys get three, and they don’t even do the fighting themselves. Jerks.” -–Regdar, 5th year human fighter

“I dunno, though. If we had a Marshal for quarterback, we could rule all over Manifest Academy.” -–Krusk, 4th year half-orc barbarian

Monk
The Program: This is a very intense program, and should not be entered lightly. Although it appears to revolve heavily around hand-to-hand combat and dexterity training, it is as mental as it is physical. Each semester, monk students must take a three-hour meditation lab, and if you transfer out of the program, you aren’t allowed back in. (This rule is becoming very loose, however, due to pressure from both Faerun and Rokugani students). This program has a zero-tolerance policy for Chaotic behavior.

“This life of partying and frivolity is not conducive to the growth of your inner spirit. Go bar-hopping if you must, but I will remain here with my thoughts and my kata. No, really. You go. I’ll be fine.” -–Ember, 4th year human monk

“I like the top-knots they wear on their heads. When Naull hides my knives, I practice back-stabbing by running up and yankin’ ‘em.” –-Lidda, insane little halfling rogue

“I guess, what’s best about my couple semesters in the monk program, is how great my jumps are.” -–Tara, 4th year tiefling monk and cheerleader

Ninja
The Program: By popular demand, Sigil Prep is now offering an inclusive ninja program. We teach all the important concepts, from rapid climbing to hiding in plain sight. We also answer the unanswered questions. For instance, "Why is one ninja by himself like the best fighter you've ever met, but a whole group of ninjas together seems to be just cannon-fodder?"

"Of course, the true ninja learns his art from his clan. But, you know, home schooled kids don't learn social skills." --Magato, 1st year human ninja, whose parents really just wanted him out of the house

"Morikage's team has the same strategy every game. Pass the ball to the ninja, he scores a TD before anybody sees him.  I always rage before I tackle ninjas." --Krusk, 3rd year half-orc barbarian

"You know who makes the best ninjas? Elf chicks.  That's kind of hot, right?" --Regdar, 5th year human fighter

Noble
The Program: This program is only open to individuals who meet the entrance requirements. These include genealogy, an intensive ethics and etiquette entrance exam, poise, bearing, and the recommendations of at least three nobles or aristocrats from your home plane. Optionally, wealthy parents may bribe your way in.

“And I thought aasimar were arrogant.” –-Kailey, tiefling sorcerer

“I’m going to use my ‘favor’ ability. ‘Hello, dad? I need about two hundred more gold pieces. It’s for text books, dad...’” –-Aidolon, 2nd year Silvanesti elf noble

“One time, there was this elf, he had perfect grades, teachers loved him, the Dean of Arcane Studies used to invite him to dinner. President of the Student Body. Then one day, he bumped a Noble student in the hallway, and he was permanently expelled the next day. No questions. I swear, it happened to a friend of my cousin.” -–Soveliss, 2nd year elf ranger

Rogue
The Program: This is an intensive class schedule. An average semester might include Lockpicking 101 at 8 AM, followed by Pickpocketing 112, Climbing Uneven Vertical Surfaces (Advanced), then lunch, Backstabbing at noon, Lying about It at 1, Breaking Out of Things, Breaking Into Things, and ending the day with Pre-Calculus (because academics are important). It isn’t a major for the lazy, but it is versatile, and very active. The school will supply two daggers to each Freshman.

“Gotta love a bad girl. She’ll break your heart, man. And steal your wallet.” –-Regdar, currently with no student ID

“Things like Backstabbing and Crippling Strikes require a partner, and you need a lot of practice. It’s really important that your roommate is also your best friend.” –-Lidda, 4th year halfling rogue

“I want to move.” -–Naull, 4th year human wizard and Lidda’s roommate

Samurai
The Program: The Morikage School in Rokugan set a standard for the Samurai major, and though it continues to be their most popular program, they graduate less than a quarter of their students every year. When Sigil Prep instituted their Samurai School, they looked at the Morikage program in great detail, and determined that what was needed was more emphasis on yelling and staring down. We are now proud to be the second best Samurai school in the planes.

“In Samurai School, if you don’t make the Honor Role, you get kicked out. Depending on your student advisor, you may have to commit suicide. It’s tough, but fair.” –-Moiroki, 4th year dwarf samurai

“I transferred here from Rokugan, because I couldn’t afford the Ancestral Daisho fees at Morikage. Already, I feel dishonored.” –-Katsako, 3rd year human (Crane clan) samurai

“That was the wrong hall to walk down.” –-Kufo Ha’hoshi, freshman Ogre Mage Sorcerer, after taking a shortcut through the Samurai Dojo

Scout
The Program: The Scout program is an innovation created by Sigil Prep to suit the changing needs of the Adventuring community. What was simply a sideline of the Ranger or Rogue in the past becomes an integral skill set. Students are taught important survival skills and techniques making them invaluable pointmen. Scouts are highly employable, and even if there's an Adventurer recession, the park services are always looking.

"Oh, yeah, scouts are great. We send Kyanja to the bar ahead of us, and if they accept her fake ID, she waves the rest of us in." --Kerywn, 4th year human rogue

"Sometimes Kyanja sneaks up on Lidda, sometimes Lidda sneaks up on Kyanja. And yet somehow, it's me that ends up in the infirmary." --Naull, 5th year human wizard

"One of my favorite hobbies is to put on full camouflage make-up and hide in the branches of an old oak. When the dryads come out, I drop water balloons on them." --Kyanja, 3rd year half-elf scout

Swashbuckler
The Program: There are those that envision this course as leaping from staircases, swinging on chandeliers, waving rapiers about while making pithy comments. Fancy clothes, feathered hats, huge belts with brass buckles, high, folded over boots. It's all that, and more. Plus a heavy written exam at year's end. Students are supplied with a rapier and dagger.

"My name is Mellegro Antonio. You flunked my father.  So he's living vicariously through me." --Mellegro, 1st year human swashbuckler

"Right, like this guy's been trying to buckle my swash for a while now. Like, what kind of girl do you think I am?  You're not even varsity." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard

"I think it's the clothes I love the most. Who else can walk around with a poofy-sleeved pirate shirt and get away with it?" --Genevieve, 2nd year human swashbuckler

The College of Soulful Incarnum
In which you learn to manipulate the very substance of the soul. Everybody's got a little soul in 'em, baby. Oh... yeah.

Dean of Incarnum is Sharakor Drevi'nix'orrix'asei

Incarnate
The Program: The most common of the incarnum majors, the Incarnate major teaches the most basic principals of soulmelding. A strong basis in alignment philosophy is required. Lawful Neutral students, for instance, must take Lawful Neutral Philosophies, Advanced Lawful Lawful Philosophies, and Greater Lawful Neutral Philosophies, consecutively, as long as he's in the major. Please note that your alignment aura is included in your basic course package.

"It's like taking your soul, shining it up, and making it stronger than ever. You feel good about yourself, and you can make junk appear on your body." --Stergan, 1st year skarn incarnate

"I don't see when you get the chakra binding for your..." --Mialee, you know the drill

"Yes, keep advancing. That soul's looking better all the time." --Shemeska the Marauder, Arcanoloth Dean of Admissions

Soulborn
The Program: Use incarnum to fight better. Not only do you learn basic combat as well as the Fighter, you don't have all those pesky required electives ("required electives?") to take. Plus, you learn to smite. Smiting is awesome. And you don't have to invest in Lawful Good temperament.

"We are the paladins of incarnum, the holy warriors of the soul. That's what the press release said, anyway.  Hey, sold me." --Zenya, 1st year azurin soulborn

"That halo looks good on you. It'd look better on my floor." --Regdar, promptly smote

"Paladins of Incarnum? Paladins of Incarnum?  That's obscene.  Wait, did Kailey put you up to this?" --Merrick, 3rd year aasimar paladin

Totemist
The Program: Why use your own soul, when you can use the souls of magical beasts? The totemist program offers a more instinctive, natural way to tap essentia than those arrogant eggheads in the incarnate program. You don't even have to know how to read; it's all about intuitive learning. Although, if you can't read, you aren't getting much from this course catalog anyway...

"Best part is, when Feast of the Dead celebration come, don't need to spend money on mask. Just bind a soulmeld to face chakra." --Quarranal Rhiannavar, 2nd year duskling totemist

"There's no such thing as a face chakra, you moron." --Zenya, 1st year azurin soulborn, inciting the infamous soulborn/totemist campus war

"I'm just sayin', Regdar, that it wouldn't hurt to learn a few soulmelds that might help with your interceptions. And this is the only soulmeld major you're smart enough to take." --Coach Klank, realizes academics and sports can mix

The College of Martial Adeptness
In which... Kung Fu!

Dean of Martial Adeptness is Narrock Nineclaw

Crusader
The Program: Divine emissaries of the gods, and devotees of martial zealotry. The Crusader program, like many programs, requires you to choose a god, and then you get to fight for him. No, not like Paladins. This is crazy, loco kung-fu mojo fighting. For Pelor! Or, if you prefer, Blibdoolpoolp! Lots of smiting, and hit point buffers.

"I love this program, except for the randomness of it. The Red Knight chooses my moves each day...  She's the goddess of strategy, for crying out loud!  If I wanted random, I'd have worshiped Tymora." --Ardovar, 3rd year human Crusader of the Red Knight

"I smack people till they're bloody, in the name of the god of healing!" --Daresa, 5th year human Crusader of Pelor

"So, like, I see you have a zealous surge class ability..." --Mialee, same ol', same ol'

Swordsage
The Program: Masters of the fighting arts, except they aren't quite as good at it as Fighters. But they get all this crazy kung-fu stuff, which is wicked cool. Make your sword do mad crazy stuff without actually having a magic sword. Practice in the Stone Dragon school, and yell the word "Mountain" a lot. I'm pretty sure you have to yell the name of your maneuvers to make them work. I think that's in the bylaws.

"Eskelior Deftfoot, Master of the Setting Sun..." --Eskelior Deftfoot, Elf swordsage "Yeah, great, so turn out the lights and let me go to bed." --Burvik, world's laziest bugbear

"Mm-hmm, seems like they train in all martial melee weapons. So why the hells does this 'Crimson Mask' guy have a longbow?" --Maddie Weber, midyear Drow cleric/Rogue

"I've been here over a year, and just now I'm hearing about this class?" --The Crimson Lotus, 1st year human swashbuckler, who was here first, by the way, Mr. 'Crimson Mask'

Warblade
The Program: Big, tough guys, with skillz. Tough as barbarians, but subtle. Brutes who know how to fight. Battle clarity, Battle skill, Battle cunning, Battle mastery. All of it very well represented by that skinny-ass elf whose picture is beside the entry. Who's picking the portrait characters, anyway?

"*snicker*, stupid Swordsages. Good luck with all those extra maneuvers when you'll never hit with that lame BAB." --Arzimon, 3rd year elf Warblade

"This guy, Vardalak Axebearer, he's supposed to be a disciple of the Diamond Mind. Can you do that if you don't have a brain?" --Kailey, midyear elf Sorcerer

"...and for that matter, Diplomacy is a class skill? He looks like he's been hit in the face.  Six times a day.  Everyday, his entire life." --Maddie Weber, midyear Drow cleric/rogue