Robe of Useless Items (3.5e Equipment)
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Robe of Useless Items[edit]
Often confused with the much more useful Robe of Useful Items, the Robe of Useless Items isn't quite as good. Which is a problem since it looks very similar to the real thing.
Like the Robe of Useful Items, it is an unremarkable robe with small cloth patches in various shapes. The wearer sees the patches as useful items, but as they are produced, they reveal themselves to not be very useful at all. One patch can be detached each round. Detaching a patch causes it to become an actual item, as indicated below. A newly created robe of useless items always has two each of the following patches:
- Rusted Broken Dagger (−1 attack, −1 damage).
- Bullseye Lantern (filled and lit). After 1d6 rounds of use, the lantern bursts into flames, dealing 1d6 fire to its user and destroying the lantern.
- Broken Mirror.
- 10 ft Pole made of floppy rubber, unable to stay straight.
- Frayed Hempen Rope (50 ft). If more than 50 lbs of force is applied to it, it snaps.
- Sack with a hole in it large enough to let objects up to the size of a softball fall through.
In addition, the robe has several other patches. Roll 4d4 for the number of other patches and then roll for each patch on the table below to determine its nature.
| d% | Result |
|---|---|
| 01–08 | Bag of 100 clearly counterfeit gold pieces. A DC 10 Spot check or DC 5 Appraise check reveals the falsehood. |
| 09–15 | Tiny tin coffer (1/2 inch by 1/2 inch by 1 inch.), no value. |
| 16–22 | Door, paper (up to 10 ft. wide and 10 ft. high with no lock — must be placed upright, attaches and hinges itself) |
| 23–30 | Shiny stones, 10 (No value) |
| 31–44 | Ladder, wooden (24 ft. long). It's rotten and broken, anything more than 20 lbs of weight breaks it. |
| 45–51 | A dead mule. |
| 52–59 | Pit, open (10 ft. by 10 ft. by 10 ft.) which appears immediately under you. |
| 60–68 | Potion of cure minor wounds |
| 69–75 | Rowboat (12 ft. long), leaks. Will sink 1d10 rounds after launching, or twice as long if actively removing water each round. |
| 76–83 | Paper with explosive runes, with the appearance of a scroll. |
| 84–90 | Pair of wolves which are hostile to you. |
| 91–96 | Cloudy Opaque Window (2 ft. by 4 ft., up to 2 ft. deep). |
| 97–100 | Large sized portable ram animated object which attempts to attack the closest thing to it (typically you). |
Multiple items of the same kind are permissible. Once removed, a patch cannot be replaced.
Moderate transmutation; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, bestow curse, fabricate; Price 2250 gp.
Back to Main Page → 3.5e Homebrew → Equipment → Cursed Items
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