View source for Ffumble Chart (3.5e Variant Rule)

== Fumble Chart (April Fool's Version) ==

Fumble Charts introduce additional (and often needless) tragedy and misfortune to PCs who usually have enough problems as it is. If you still feel like using one though, and are tired of accidentally critting your friend, or dropping your weapon in a random square, or straining your groin muscle, try these instead!

=== The Fumble God ===

Ffumbelle was a minor deity serving the god of fortune, responsible for making heroes fail miserably at the worst possible moment in battle. One night Ffumbelle hit the ambrosia a little too hard, and she began getting... creative... with the mishaps associated with a critical miss.  For reasons unknown, these creative mishaps resurface from time to time.

==== Ffumbelle's Ffumble Chart ====

Roll a nat 1 on an attack? In addition to missing completely, roll a d100 and learn your fate...

{| class="zebra d20" style="text-align: left;"
!1d100 !! Effect
|-
|01-05 || Your mouth fills with delicious cooked bacon every round on your turn for one minute. Chew quickly.
|-
|06-10 || Disco Mode activates, affecting everything within a 200 foot radius, centered on you. Disco Mode moves with you and lasts 10 minutes.
|-
|11-15 || You lose your grip on your weapon and fling it away. On the plus side it hits the furthest enemy from you within 30 feet for half normal weapon damage.
|-
|16-20 || Reality alters, and everyone remembers your name always having been Chi-chi McSillypuddy. Lasts 24 hours.
|-
|21-25 || Your weapon squeaks like a chew toy every time it hits someone. You also squeak every time someone hits you. Lasts for 1 hour.
|-
|26-30 || As a free action you eat a Mentos, and reroll the missed attack. However, your next available move action must be to turn to the camera and say "Mentos! The FRESH-MAKER!"
|-
|31-35 || Your weapon gains sentience for 1 minute, with an Int, Wis and Cha of 14, speaks Common, has an alignment opposite of the wielder, and an Ego score of 9. 
|-
|36-40 || Become subjected to [[Persistent_Theme_Music_(3.5e_Flaw)|persistent theme music]] for the next hour.
|-
|41-45 || You must speak in rhyming couplets if you speak at all for the next 24 hours. Failure to do so results in nonlethal damage equal to your HD. Damage from multiple failures to rhyme is cumulative.
|-
|46-50|| All injuries, regardless of severity, spray blood as though a major artery had been severed. While alarming, you don't seem to be losing more blood than normal. Lasts until healed.
|-
|51-55 || You are compelled to yell "BOO-YA!" every time you successfully hit or make a successful saving throw, and yell "GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!" if you miss or fail a save. Permanent until dispelled by remove curse.
|-
|56-60 || One of your arms falls off. A new arm grows to replace it in 1d4 rounds.
|-
|61-65 || You imagine everyone in their underwear, for good or ill. Lasts 24 hours.
|-
|66-70 || You smell strongly of pickles. You crave pickles. All you want to eat is pickles. Permanent until you eat a pickle.
|-
|71-74 || Begin crying every time you miss in combat. God, pull yourself together, you're an adventurer for gods sake! (pulling yourself together takes a full-round action) Lasts 24 hours
|-
|75-78 || Everyone takes a free action to laugh at your fumble. Even mindless creatures. Jerks. Take a -2 morale penalty to your next attack roll.
|-
|79-82 || Switch gender. Your next natural 1 on an attack roll in combat switches you back.
|-
|83-86 || Hit your ally. You know what? Hit ALL your allies. For 1 point of untyped damage. Because.
|-
|87-90 || Lose Turn, Go back to Start. You are immediately teleported to the square you occupied at the beginning of combat. 
|-
|91-92 || Your opponent informs you that they are really your father. You search your feelings and know it to be true. Ben, why didn't you tell them?
|-
|93-94 || You are surrounded by ghostly, incorporeal tropical fish that swim lazily through the air, and even you. This is permanent.
|-
|95-96 || Your butt really, really itches. Spend the next possible swift action scratching your butt.
|-
|97 || A duplicate of your opponent (or closest opponent to you) pops into existence next to the original, at full health, and acts in initiative directly after you do. Bummer.
|-
|98 || Disgusted, you call a time-out, which is honored by the opposition, no matter what. Both sides have 5 rounds in which no offensive actions can be taken, at which point combat resumes.
|-
|99 || You whiff so hard it becomes opposite day! 20s are now nat 1s, 19s are 2s, etc. Only applies to attack rolls and saves. Lasts until the end of the day.
|-
|100 || Your miss was so bad that the gods themselves have been offended. Gain the enmity of a powerful outsider as though you drew the "Flames" card from the Deck of Many Things, except the outsider must be at least CR 12.
|}
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Author	Spanambula +
Identifier	3.5e Variant Rule +
Rated By	Eiji-kun +, Fluffykittens + and Tarkisflux +
Rating	Rating Pending +
Summary	Everyone hates fumble rules. But what if they were entertaining? +
Title	Ffumble Chart +