View source for Pants, the Guardian of God's Junk (3.5e Vestige)

{{April Fools}}
{{author
|author_name=Eiji-kun
|date_created=4-26-15
|status=Complete
}}

==Pants, the Guardian of God's Junk==

[[Summary::It must be true, before you is the legendary pants of the gods.  Wear it with style.]]

'''Level:''' [[Level::1st]]

'''Binding DC:''' [[Binding DC::15]]

'''Special Requirement:''' No

===Legend===

Even gods fumble sometimes.

So it was that one day, after tossing his trousers into the celestial washer and drier, [[Sol Eiji (3.5e Monster)|Sol Eiji]] lost his pants.  Fortunately for the universe, Sol Eiji had many pants and simply grabbed another pair, but the thing about objects used by the divine is that everything is an artifact or an epic item or a fragment of infinite power or something.  And more importantly, when Sol Eiji does something, he does it in the most absurd matter.  So naturally, when he lost his pants, he '''really''' lost them, and they simply ceased to be.

But one does not deny pants.

And so pants persist.  The memory of pants is eternal.

===Manifestation===

Your eyes open and you can see forever.  All of creation is open to you, the entire universe plays out like a clock.  You suddenly understand everything.  At the brink of ascending to a higher plane of existence, your concentration is suddenly disrupted by the buzzer of a washer machine.  One of the galaxies you were looking at opens up, revealing a freshly washed pair of denim jeans which rises out in front of you.  It's so interesting you kind of forget all that higher plane stuff and go to put the pants on instead.

===Sign===

You are always wearing a pair of pants.  Visually at least.  Even if naked, or wearing full plate, or a dress, or you don't even have legs, somehow you always are wearing pants.

There is a 15% chance that when you bind Pants, the pants appear on your head instead.  This doesn't have any effect other than looking absurd.

===Influence===

Whenever you meet someone, you must show off your awesome pants.  Even if, or especially if, it is a social faux pas.  You gain the [[Monologuer (3.5e Flaw)|Monologuer flaw]] (with no bonus feat), and your monologue is always "I like pants.  They're comfy and easy to wear."

===Granted Abilities===

====Digital Style====

You can [[SRD:Fascinated|fascinate]] as a [[bard]] of your level.  Use your binder level + [[Charisma]] modifier + 3 to determine your effective Perform check.

====Kick to the Dick====

Having pants allows you to know kung fu.  You gain [[SRD:Improved Unarmed Strike|Improved Unarmed Strike]], but only with your legs.  As a standard action, you can do an awesome high kick if you succeed on a [[SRD:Jump Skill|Jump]] check ([[DC]] equal to the target's [[AC]]).  If your Jump check is successful, you gain +4 on the attack roll, and an extra +2d6 damage.  If your check fails, you take &minus;2 on the attack roll.

If you score a critical hit with your unarmed strike, you also [[SRD:Stunned|stun]] the target for 1 round.

If you are also bound to [[Sol-Eiji the Lunatic Sun (3.5e Vestige)|Sol-Eiji the Lunatic Sun]], your unarmed strikes also are [[SRD:Flaming Burst|flaming burst]] weapons, which stack with the actual enhancement.

====Protected from the Elements====

You are comfy in pants.  You are under a constant [[SRD:Endure Elements|endure elements]] effect.  When your binder level reaches 10th level, you instead benefit from ''[[SRD:Adapt Body|adapt body]]''.

====Spring Legs====

You gain a bonus on [[SRD:Jump Skill|Jump]] checks equal to your binder level +5, and always count as having a running jump.  You also take half damage from [[SRD:Falling|falls]].


----
{{3.5e Vestiges Breadcrumb}}
[[Category:Vestige]]
[[Category:3.5e]]
[[Category:User]]
{{Navboxes}}
Author	Eiji-kun +
Binding DC	15 +
Identifier	3.5e Vestige +
Level	1st +
Rating	Undiscussed +
Summary	It must be true, before you is the legendary pants of the gods. Wear it with style. +
Title	Pants, the Guardian of God's Junk +