Poop Golem (3.5e Monster)

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Author: Bhu (talk)
Date Created: 03/24/2015
Status: Finished
Editing: Clarity edits only please
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Poop Golem
Size/Type: Large Construct
Hit Dice: 10d10+30 (85 hp)
Initiative: -1
Speed: 20 ft. (4 squares)
Armor Class: 20 (-1 Size, -1 Dex, +10 Natural), touch 8, flat-footed 20
Base Attack/Grapple: +7/+18
Attack: Slam +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
Full Attack: 2 Slams +13 melee (2d6+7 plus Foulness)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./10 ft.
Special Attacks: Berserk, Unbegotten Foulness, Disturbing Presence, Improved Grab, Smother
Special Qualities: Construct Traits, Damage Reduction 10/Adamantine, Darkvision 60', low Light Vision, Immunity to Magic
Saves: Fort +3, Ref +2, Will +3
Abilities: Str 25, Dex 8, Con -, Int -, Wis 11, Cha 1
Skills: ---
Feats: ---
Environment: Any
Organization: Solitary or Latrine (3-6)
Challenge Rating: 10
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always Neutral
Advancement: 11-20 HD (Large), 21-30 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: ---

"We...are NOT...fighting that. I don't care what the General threatened us with."

The origin of the Poop Golem is largely unknown. They have appeared in several Dwarf/Elven conflicts on both sides, and the origin was assumed to be with them. The Dwarves claim the Elves are too lazy to do mundane matters such as dig latrines, so they animate their waste to wreak havoc on the Dwarven lines. The Elves have countered this claim by stating that Elves do not, in fact, poop. The Dwarven legions response was to refer to the Elves as "a bunch of fruity, lying bastards". Despite claims by either side, the Golems seem to attack both sides at random, meaning there is likely a third race at work. Probably Gnomes. Can't trust them Gnomes. No sir.


Poop Golems always go for the Grapple. Always. It's like they know you hate that option the most.

Berserk(Ex): Each round it is in combat there is a 1% chance the Golem goes berserk. It will attack the nearest living creature, or smash smaller objects each round until nothing is left before moving on to continue the destruction. There is no known method of reestablishing control once the Golem is Berserk.

Improved Grab(Ex): If the Golem succeeds with a Slam attack it may immediately make a Grapple Check as a Free Action without provoking an attack of opportunity. It will then usually Pin it's victim, or Smother if it's small enough.

Smother(Ex): If the Golem successfully Grapples an opponent at least 2 Size Classes smaller than itself it may Smother them with a successful Grapple check. Each round it maintains the Grapple causes the victim to Suffocate (See DMG page 304).

Unbegotten Foulness(Ex): Poop Golems smell so bad that any living creature within 60 ft. must make a DC 20 Fortitude Save (Save DC is Con based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Nauseated as long as they remain within 60' of the Golem and for 1d6 rounds thereafter. A successful Save means the victim is only Sickened instead. If the Golem successfully strikes or Grapples an opponent they will be required to make another Save each time, and it will stink for 1d6 days afterwards (during this time it automatically fails all Hide checks, cannot use Scent if it has the ability, and anything tracking it by Scent has a +8 Circumstance Bonus on the rolls) whether the Save is made or not. If the victim has Scent it will be Sickened until this effect wears off. Opponents with Scent take a -4 Circumstance Penalty on Saves against this ability.

Disturbing Presence(Ex): Massive amounts of vermin roam over the golem and swarm the air around it. Anyone within 10 ft of the Golem must make a DC 15 Willpower Save or be Nauseated for 1 round as they get bitten and crawled upon (Save DC is Con based). Spellcasting or concentrating on spells requires a Concentration Check (DC 20 plus spells level), and using skills requiring patience and concentration requires a DC 20 Concentration check. In addition if the first Save is failed the victim must make a second DC 15 Willpower Save (Save DC is Charisma Based with a +5 Racial Bonus) or be Shaken for 2d6 rounds. If either Save is successful the victim is immune to this Golems Disturbing Presence for 24 hours.

Immunity To Magic(Ex): Poop Golems are immune to any spell or spell like ability that allows Spell Resistance. The exceptions are spells doing Fire or Cold damage. Spells doing Cold slow the Golem down as the Slow spell for 4 rounds (no Save). Fire spells cause it to explode if it fails a Fortitude Save(the explosion is similar to a Fireball spell cast by a 10th level caster). DC of Fort Save is equal to 10 plus 1 per die of damage the fire spell does.

Construction: A Poop Golem is made from 600 pounds of feces treated with alchemical compounds costing at least 100 GP. Assembling the Body requires a DC 20 Craft (alchemy) check.

CL 11th; Craft Construct (see MM page 303), Animate Object, Geas/Quest, Contagion, Caster must be 11th Level. Price 50000 GP; Cost 25000 GP + 1000 XP

Back to Main Page3.5e HomebrewMonsters

AlignmentAlways Neutral +
AuthorBhu +
Challenge Rating10 +
EnvironmentAny +
Identifier3.5e Monster +
Level Adjustment--- +
RatingUnrated +
SizeLarge +
TitlePoop Golem +
TypeConstruct +