User talk:Luigifan18/Suddenly Filth Train (3.5e Spell)

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Ratings[edit]

RatedOppose.png Spanambula opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
"This spell functions like 'Wall of Iron', except as noted here. The wall is composed of compressed filth and biological waste. If formed across any occupied squares, the creatures take 1d6 bludgeoning damage per caster level and are shoved to one side (creature's choice). Creatures beginning their turn within 10 feet of the wall must make a Fort Save or be nauseated for 1 round. Creatures within 5 feet of the wall are sickened even on a successful save."

THERE. Everything this spell needs to be in less than 80 goddamn words. If I want long, cleverly worded passages I'll read a Jasper Fforde novel. If I want my PC to cast a spell, I DO NOT WANT A WALL OF SHIT TO WADE THROUGH. Ha see what I did there now I'm clever too let me go on for 8 more paragraphs.

RatedOppose.png Undead Knave opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
I was surprised to find this hadn't already been downvoted by...well really by everyone. It has all of the problems that material does - exceeding length, ridiculous levels of granularity, loopholes caused both despite and because of the level of granularity, unnecessary links - that this is kind of a perfect example of all the things that are wrong with most of your work.

The only things that are missing are links to tvtropes and song lyrics. Thank heaven for small mercies, I suppose.

RatedOppose.png Leziad opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
I agree with Gan 100% here.
RatedOppose.png Ganteka Future opposes this article and rated it 0 of 4.
No thank you, I would not like to spend 5 minutes reading through a spell to resolve 1 turn for 1 character, and then continue to have to reference this complex mess for each additional character for the rest of the entire encounter. Among other problems I don't even want to get into because I don't want to type that much, there's some redundant text and no way of determining the random disease which could end up making this spell far more powerful than intended and basically it just ruins everything anyways with its shitty shit. Because it is poop. That was a poop joke. This spell is a poopy joke of a poop. April Fools deserves better.


The filth train is meant to potentially carry any disease that could be transmitted through fecal matter. Tracking down every disease in the game that qualifies to form a probability table would be a monumental effort, so I left it up to the DM. However, stronger diseases should be less likely to be carried. (A "stronger" disease is one with a higher save DC, greater consequences for failed saves, and/or perhaps some other factor, like requiring more consecutive Fortitude saves to recover.)

Also, there's no redundancy. Certain portions of the text apply to different aspects of the spell (e.g. moving filth train, collapsed filth train, being trapped under collapsed filth train) in slightly different ways. --Luigifan18 (talk) 00:22, 28 November 2015 (UTC)

Leaving a monumental effort up to the DM to figure out in the middle of a combat is awful game design and actually makes me angry. It makes me angry that you knew this and left it that way on purpose. DMs don't need more work. Just pick a disease or give the option of like 2 or something that work here and fit within the balance of the spell. That's all you need. Also, as for the redundancy thing, I'm glad you bring it up because it's another big part of what's wrong here. The redundancy is created by the text having to be there twice. The slight variation actually makes it worse. Why? Because now your readers and players are going to get confused or constantly have to reference the text over which variation was which for which conditions. This spell, as is currently designed, is built to slow down and ruin an encounter. --Ganteka Future (talk) 00:53, 28 November 2015 (UTC)
The slight differences are actually necessary for the spell to make sense. Being buried in poop is logically going to be much, much worse than merely touching it, which in turn is worse than merely passing by it.
Also, by putting the onus of disease decisions on the DM, I'm actually avoiding requiring them to go hunting down issues of Dragon magazine or obscure sourcebooks just to find whatever disease I'm citing. They could just stick to the SRD and stuff on this wiki if they really wanted to. --Luigifan18 (talk) 01:23, 28 November 2015 (UTC)
Fun fact; poop is just dirty and nowhere neeeear as toxic as you imply. In fact it's really only a problem where it breaks skin. In this case, amount is less important than it is having poop in your skin.
Amusingly, D&D already has poop-in-your-skin as an effect. It's Filth Fever, that's what it's supposed to be. -- Eiji-kun (talk) 02:16, 28 November 2015 (UTC)
"Toxic" and "filled with pathogens" are two completely different things. Poop in and of itself isn't that bad; suddenly poop train doesn't carry disease at all. It's the diseases in the poop that are problematic. And I find it hard to imagine that your skin would be completely unbroken after participating in some combat. --Luigifan18 (talk) 05:09, 28 November 2015 (UTC)
You're being pedantic with toxic, you know what I refer to. Get back on track (choo choo!)
But seriously though, filth fever is a disease, so... what you said is kind of supporting me. Poop, and thus the train, is diseased. And the disease that D&D already has to cover things like septic shock and a case of poop-in-the-body is filth fever.
tl;dr, use filth fever, that's what it's there for. -- Eiji-kun (talk) 07:07, 28 November 2015 (UTC)
Well, obviously, filth fever would be one of the diseases potentially carried by the filth train. And by your logic, it'd be the most common one, especially if its save DC and damage are near-equivalent to a 6th-level spell. But I don't think it'd be the only one. There are other diseases that can be carried by poop. --Luigifan18 (talk) 18:34, 28 November 2015 (UTC)
Filth fever isn't actually a single disease so much as a classification of filth based hazards, like how "the cold" is like billions of different bugs. That said, if you insist, what other diseases are in poop? Go ahead, onus is on you. Make a short list, like... 4 maybe. That should do it. Give us something. -- Eiji-kun (talk) 23:20, 28 November 2015 (UTC)