User talk:Downzorz/Tome of Steel/Socinomicon

Social Encounters

Are you going to do a social combat system? I'd like to see one done well. --Ghostwheel 11:40, 11 March 2012 (UTC)

I was considering it, but I don't think I have the skill to put a functional one together.

Phrasing

I'm somewhat interested in where you are going with this, hence my response. First, I would offer to help you tighten up some of your sentences and a second eye for grammar and the like (were you interested), but to that end I have are few questions stemming from how I am interpreting your work thus far.

“

Racism in real life exists over extremely significant differences-

”

• I read this to mean insignificant (inferred from superficial); is that correct?

“

In D&D, the same differences exist, writ EXTREMELY large.

”

• I don't really follow what you are going for here at all, or at least I could interpret several different ways depending on what you meant by 'writ.' I assume you didn't mean the legal document, given the rest of the sentence, but beyond that I don't know if this is a misspelling, you meant it as 'written,' or something I haven't even considered.

That the core of my beef with what you have to this point.

I don't know how much further you plan on expanding this, but as is there are certain holes. For instance, a human wizard can kill people with his eyes, too, but this is attributed to years of training and adventuring rather than some innate biological ability, and the significance of that might be worth expanding on. Are wizards accepted because they are human, or are they, like the monsters they slay, likewise shunned? While for some the answer might be obvious, it's these kind of questions (and where the answers lead you) that the original Tomes built some of their mass appeal (relatively speaking) on, as not every demographic was interested in the mechanics. -- Jota 01:15, 13 March 2012 (UTC)

Writ Large is an idiom. On the topic of killing people with one's eyeballs, I would like to point out that for many times during our history, large demographics of people were often armed in public. Apart from the choice of organs, being able to kill someone with your arms is not very different from being able to kill someone with your eyeballs. --Foxwarrior 03:29, 13 March 2012 (UTC)

Damn idioms. -- Jota 03:37, 13 March 2012 (UTC)

First thing fixed. Any editing you would like to do would be great, as I know that my writing is not as readable as it could be. And the difference between people being armed in public and having wizards walking around is pretty drastic. There is a huge power discrepancy- yeah, a sword can let you kill someone who doesn't swordfight as well as you in one-on-one combat, but even a master swordsman in real life would have trouble taking on five guys at a time. A dragon can rampage through thousands of peasants and fly away unscathed.