View source for Pan Tzu, Scholar of Iniquity (3.5e Vestige)

{{April Fools}}
{{author
|author_name=Sulacu
|date_created=November 9, 2015
|status=Complete
}}

==Pan Tzu, Scholar of Iniquity==

[[Summary::Once an ordinary salaryman plagued by perverted thoughts, it is rumored that he remained a virgin until the age of 30 and was rewarded with ultimate wizardly power.]] Together with Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu, Pan Tzu now rounds off the trio of ancient Eastern wise men, though the former two never cared to acknlowledge their junior. Confucius has no comment.

'''Level:''' [[Level::2nd]]

'''Binding DC:''' [[Binding DC::0|No]]

'''Special Requirement:''' Binder must be male. It is rumored that all attempts made by females to bind this vestige automatically fail, and yet furthermore that it leaves them with an absolutely sickening feeling for the whole day after.

===Legend===

In his mortal life, Pan Tzu was but an ordinary [[SRD:Commoner|commoner]] whose name has been lost to the annals of time, largely because nobody cares to still remember it. In fact, mired in his unwholesome pursuits, it is likely that not even Pan Tzu himself still remembers his mortal name. 

Though he was a fairly shrewd, average B student, [[SRD:Charisma|Charisma]] was most decidedly his dump stat. No matter what he tried, Pan Tzu could never get girls to like him, and frustrated by his lack of success, he turned to less wholesome methods to sate his growing desire for female attention, and became a recluse with no social life beyond his 9-to-5 office job. With no meaningful skills aside from bookkeeping and an encyclopedic knowledge of pornography and erotic anime, the socially backwards Pan Tzu became a cipher, indistinct from the average masses were it not for his faint aura of unpleasant body odour and intrusive ''male gaze''. So he continued living his life of debauched mediocrity, until reaching the age of 30 where he purportedly had an epiphany. 

As he laid in bed that evening, hugging his ''dakimakura'' and watching his favourite cartoons on the internet, he got a phonecall from his estranged mother, who wished him a happy birthday and expressed concern about his wellbeing. Suddenly realizing how old he had become and understanding the bitter truth of mortality, doors in his mind seemed to open, and from within him all the potential his ailing mindset had restrained suddenly spilled forth. Within the first breath of this discovery, he realized that magic was real! And within the second breath, his thoughts turned to how he could use his newfound gifts to pursue his perverted interests.

Further details of his life before death have been omitted, but what is known is that he did not live to become 31.

===Special summoning===

The seal for the binding is reminiscent of the ''henohenomoheji'' face.

===Manifestation===

A chorus of anime girls making suggestive moaning noises issues forth from the seal as you are bathed in a hot pink light that transforms your very being. 

===Sign===

You become balding and corpulent, if not already so, and in a flash of pink light, your clothing transforms into a magical girl costume complete with some sort of obviously plastic or styrofoam accessory of terrible cosplaying. You grow a thick, scraggly neckbeard if you didn't already have one. The costume is an ill fit for your body, often leaving undesired quantities of skin visible to others. All living creatures witnessing the gaudy transformation must make a [[SRD:Fortitude|Fortitude]] save or become ''[[SRD:Fascinated|fascinated]]'' and ''[[SRD:Sickened|sickened]]'' for one [[SRD:Round|round]] at the sight.

===Influence===

For men, binding this vestige cannot fail, but any women attempting to bind Pan Tzu will find their whole body suffused by a terrible sense of wrongness, like an incorporeal spirit is touching them everywhere. For as long as the binding persists, they are [[SRD:Sickened|sickened]] and make [[SRD:Concentration|Concentration]] checks at a &minus;10 penalty. Any effect that would cause them to be sickened during this time instead makes them [[SRD:Nauseated|nauseated]].

===Granted Abilities===

==== Staff of the Mahou Shoujo ====

The plastic staff conjured by your transformation counts as a [[Vulnerable (3.5e Equipment)|vulnerable]] [[SRD:Quarterstaff|quarterstaff]] with an [[SRD:Enhancement Bonus|enhancement bonus]] equal to one quarter your binder level (rounded up, starting at +1 at first level). Being made of fragile plastic, all damage done with this weapon is reduced by 3 points and its hardness is only 3, but once per round, a successful attack may force the target to make a [[SRD:Reflex|Reflex]] save or be affected as per ''[[Nealan's Unbuckling (3.5e Spell)|Nealan's unbuckling]]''.

==== Otaku Gaze ====

Even the staunchest of men cannot keep their minds from impure thoughts when binded to Pan Tzu, and will covetously look for any female presences in the area. You gain a permanently active ''[[Nealan's Erotic Gaze (3.5e Spell)|Nealan's erotic gaze]]'' effect with a caster level equal to your binder level, that also [[SRD:Sickened|sickens]] whomever it affects for up to 2 rounds afterwards. However, it only affects female creatures of similar creature type.

==== Pervert's Delight ====

Once every minute, you may unleash a ''[[Cone of Melted Butter (3.5e Spell)|cone of melted butter]]'' upon your foes, with a caster level equal to your binder level. Any creature that is hit by the butter directly is [[SRD:Sickened|sickened]] for 2d4 [[SRD:Round|rounds]], and must make a [[SRD:Fortitude|Fortitude]] save or become [[SRD:Nauseated|nauseated]] for the first 2 rounds instead.

==== Underwear Guru ====

You become incredibly interested in underwear &mdash; especially of the female persuasion. Your alignment changes to ''pantsu'', and acquiring a particularly pristine pair of women's underwear will put you under the effect of ''[[SRD:Greater Heroism|greater heroism]]'' for the next 10 minutes (not including any underwear you may have already possessed). You gain a +10 bonus to any and all [[SRD:Appraise Skill|Appraise]] checks regarding underwear, and while wearing a pair of particularly lavish women's underwear, you gain your [[SRD:Charisma|Charisma]] bonus to [[SRD:Armor Class|Armor Class]] for as long as the binding persists.

==== Pan Tzu's <s>Tireless</s>Tiresome Pursuit ====

Once per hour, you may designate one female target. For the next 1 minute or until the target is defeated, eludes your senses, or is otherwise subdued, you may not switch targets. Your Otaku Gaze will affect only your target, and while attacking or pursuing the target, you become effectively [[SRD:Haste|hasted]]. This effect ends the moment you lose track of the target.

Unfortunately, Pan Tzu is not exactly fit. When this ability ends, you become [[SRD:Fatigued|fatigued]] for 10 minutes.


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{{3.5e Vestiges Breadcrumb}}
[[Category:Vestige]]
[[Category:3.5e]]
[[Category:User]]
{{Navboxes}}
Author	Sulacu +
Binding DC	0 +
Identifier	3.5e Vestige +
Level	2nd +
Rated By	Eiji-kun +, Foxwarrior + and Luigifan18 +
Rating	Rating Pending +
Summary	Once an ordinary salaryman plagued by perverted thoughts, it is rumored that he remained a virgin until the age of 30 and was rewarded with ultimate wizardly power. +
Title	Pan Tzu, Scholar of Iniquity +