User:Johnnya4344

A Treatise on the Art of a Hilarious DM

“Sometimes it's going to suck to be you. Other times it's going to be hilarious.”

I don’t see D&D as a cooperative player vs monster game. We (the GM and the players) are gathering together to create a story, not grind 20 levels on the random woodland critters and then start the story. Your characters are supposed to face impossible odds, overcome challenges the size of mountains (sometimes the challenges are actual mountains), and ultimately persevere or die trying. At the end of the day, I want this to be a fun storytelling experience where we all feel important to the outcome of our creation, where we all contribute to the trials and tribulations and beheading of baddies (or goodies) within our story. That said, I will break the rules as written with GM fiat when I feel it is appropriate to do so. Sometimes things will happen (good or bad) to your character that will make you feel strongly. and that's good. Because the more I can ignite your passion about your character’s outcome, the more passion you will put into helping myself and the other players tell this story.

Rocks fall, everyone dies.

“Welcome to the afterlife. Here’s your card. Come back again and you get a free sundae!”

And that’s ok. Death is a part of life, and part of the game. Resurrection spells exist for a reason. To be fair, I won't be that cruel. But if your character dies you will have a choice as a player: try to come back to life or roll a new one. Sometimes you will roll up a character that you grow bored of. It happens. When I was learning D&D 10+ years ago I went through a new character every session until I finally found one I could connect with (the GM loved me /s). I’m not recommending you take it to this extreme (as that makes a continuous storyline a little tough to write), but if you do find yourself not super passionate about your character, please talk to me outside the game. We’ll make something work.

Can you keep a secret?

"Pass the Mountain Dew and Doritos."

"Ragnar, what the hell are Doritos?"

"Shh! I think I heard something moo… RUN!"

Sometimes characters in this game will become privy to some information that may not be in their best interest to share with the party. There will be times when the party inevitably splits up, which, while making my job harder, is a necessity for the game. Tell me of one good sci-fi/fantasy story where the party never splits up, or where someone was not keeping a secret from the rest of the protagonists to be revealed later as a major plot point.

I’ll wait.

Assuming you don’t have a counterexample, I come to my next point: you only know what your character knows. If your character tries to act on information you (as the player) know but your character doesn’t, interesting things will happen. And I mean interesting for me. Your character may not share my point of view. You have been warned.

I will do my best to keep secret information secret, but I’m not perfect and prying eyes and eavesdropping ears exist. Sometimes, those prying eyes or ears cause cows to drop out of orbit and land on your character. Moo.

My Non-Uzarra Contributions

Powerful Metamagic (3.5e Feat)

Holy Spellcasting (3.5e Feat)

Unholy Spellcasting (3.5e Feat)

Spellslinger (3.5e Class)

My Current Projects

User:Johnnya4344/Mage Tech (3.5e Class)

User:Johnnya4344/Uzarran Starlords (3.5e Pantheon)

User:Johnnya4344/Uzarra (3.5e Campaign Setting)

Things I'm Totally Using in my Current Campaign

Forged Sky

Uzarra

Dayusk (3.5e Equipment)

Aurinko (3.5e Deity)

Salaisuus (3.5e Deity)