Brown Note (3.5e Spell)
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Low - Moderate -
| Evocation [Sonic] | |
| Level: | Bard 2, Sorcerer/Wizard 3 |
|---|---|
| Components: | V, S |
| Casting time: | 1 standard action |
| Range: | Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels) |
| Targets: | Up to 1 living creature per two caster levels, no two of which may be more than 30 feet apart. |
| Duration: | 1 round/level or until... relieved. |
| Saving Throw: | Fortitude partial |
| Spell Resistance: | Yes |
Hal Cabrone was a powerful mob boss and a highly successful orator bard. While he never managed to distinguish himself doing any legal work, his skills nonetheless came in handy in court, where the prosecution kept coming down with violent and spasmodic diarrhetic episodes before any verdict could be reached. At the end of two decades of back-and-forth proceedings, the supreme court judge Franklin Fancyblousers finally acquitted Mr. Cabrone to save his hand-tailored breeches from a most unwelcome soiling. In a twist of irony, Hal himself died two years later of complications brought on by severe colonic obstruction from a long-untreated inguinal hernia.
Upon casting this spell, you release a deep, resonating sound that is focused upon the chosen targets. Any affected creature must immediately make a Fortitude save or need new pants. When in the unwelcome state of needing new pants, any civilized living creature would suffer a -10 circumstance penalty to any and all Charisma-based skill and ability checks (with the possible exception of Gather Information, if you promise solemnly to go away). The sheer enormity of the premature release within one's ruined pants also cuts all movement speeds depending on the legs in half, and results in a -2 morale penalty to all attack rolls, damage, saves and checks that remains until the creature has thoroughly cleaned themselves and acquired new pants.
If a creature successfully saves against needing new pants, he becomes effectively nauseated until he relieves himself, either involuntarily or as normal, except that he is not restricted by the condition as normal. Every time he tries to perform more than a single move action per round or perform an action that being nauseated doesn't ordinary allow like make an attack or cast a spell, he must make a new Fortitude save against needing new pants.
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| Article Balance | High + |
| Author | Sulacu + |
| Component | V + and S + |
| Descriptor | Sonic + |
| Identifier | 3.5e Spell + |
| Level | Bard 2 + and Sorcerer/Wizard 3 + |
| Range | Other + |
| Rating | Unrated + |
| School | Evocation + |
| Summary | It was only a matter of time before someone devised a spell to make people crap themselves. + |
| Title | Brown Note + |
