Shimshon's Shmasher (3.5e Equipment)
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Shimshon's Shmasher[edit]
| “ | With an ass's jawbone, I have made asses of them. With an ass's jawbone, I have killed a thousand men. | ” |
| —An ancient judge, appointed by a forgotten divinity, The Book of Judges | ||
This unassuming jawbone of a donkey looks to be unfit as a weapon, and displays no outward hints as to the otherworldly power that lurks within. The jawbone seems to be worn to a dark brown from exposure to aeons of time, the molars remaining within it dull and blunted, and its thick angle smooth yet darkened, as if by blood or injury. Yet, despite its apparent frailty, no mortal force is capable of destroying it. Few men who come upon such a thing would care to take it, and yet it has a way of showing up in places where strife is deep. However, should this ancient relic ever be borne aloft in anger, even the hands of the most waifish of commoners will find themselves imbued with the power to split the heads of great warriors in twain.
In the hands of the faithless, the apostates, and those who care not to give lip service to the gods, Shimshon's Shmasher is just an ordinary bone with little to no function, yet in the hands of a man of faith, however humble of origin, it functions as a +1 adamantine killing club and grants its wielder a +2 enhancement bonus to their Strength score and a +3 sacred bonus to AC and saving throws. The shmasher counts as every alignment for the purpose of bypassing damage reduction/alignment.
Also, wielding the shmasher and making it your own somehow causes your hair to grow several inches every day, as though boundless masculinity exudes from the old bone and seeps into your body.
Shimshon's shmasher is roused from its slumber by the blood of dying miscreants, empowered by every man or monster slain in the name of the Lord God... whoever that is. The more men and monsters Shimshon's shmasher kills with righteous intent, the stronger the weapon becomes, and the more profound the connection. As the weapon gains strength, so do the whispers the wielder can glean from within its husk. Whispers that desire the death of pagans and infidels.
- For every 100 kills, the shmasher's enhancement bonus to attack and damage rolls increases by +1, to a maximum of +11 at 1,000 kills.
- For every 100 kills, the enhancement bonus to the wielder's Strength score increases by +1, to a maximum of +12 at 1,000 kills.
- For every 200 kills, the shmasher gains a cumulative +1 sacred bonus to Armor Class and saving throws, to a maximum of +8 at 1,000 kills.
- At 100 kills, the shmasher channels the Revenge domain, granting the wielder its domain power. Every 100 kills afterwards, the shmasher grants its wielder the ability to cast one of the spells of the domain at will, starting at 1st, to a maximum of the 9th level spell at 1,000 kills.
Once the shmasher reaches a thousand kills, it is fully realized, and becomes capable of bypassing damage reduction/cosmic.
Once the shmasher is lost, after the death of its previous wielder or by chance, it slowly loses its power, at a rate of 1 effective kill per year, until finally regressing back to its base stats after one millennium.
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