Food (3.5e Monster)

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Author: Eiji-kun (talk)
Date Created: 9-25-17
Status: Complete
Editing: Clarity edits only please
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Size/Type: Small Aberration
Hit Dice: 3d8+12 (25 hp)
Initiative: +0
Speed: 40 ft
Armor Class: 16 (+6 luck), touch 16, flat-footed 16
Base Attack/Grapple: +2/+4
Attack: Slam +4 melee (1d8+3, 20/x2)
Full Attack: Slam +4 melee (1d8+3, 20/x2)
Space/Reach: 2 1/2 ft/5 ft
Special Attacks: Ferocity
Special Qualities: Darkvision 60 ft, Delicious, Escape, Lucky
Saves: Fort +6, Ref +3, Will +2
Abilities: Str 15, Dex 10, Con 17, Int 2, Wis 13, Cha 4
Skills: Escape Artist +8, Listen +7, Spot +5
Feats: Alertness, Toughness
Environment: Dungeons, Castle Walls, and Trash Cans
Organization: Solitary or Feast (5-8)
Challenge Rating: 2
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always True Neutral
Advancement: 4-5 HD (Small)
Level Adjustment:

You find a roast turkey in the wall. Yum.

A strange "creature", the entity only known as "Food" appears as a large chunk of cooked meat, typically a roast turkey or other substance, with a set of crab legs for locomotion and no means of seeing, feeding, or otherwise existing as an actual living thing. That's fine though because food has stats and hp, so it makes sense. Wizards probably did it.

They are very rare to find but often lucky discoveries. They tend to make their homes in cans or within the walls of spooky castles, and if you catch one by surprise you could eat it. Turns out food is delicious (excluding its legs), if difficult to catch. Curiously no animals have ever shown interest in eating "Food", alive or dead. They seem only to be preyed upon by humanoids with questionable eating habits.


Food does not like to fight and will often Escape as soon as possible, but they are capable fighters when cornered.

Delicious (Ex): Food is unattractive as a meal to most living beings, but humanoids find it delicious. The taste is difficult to describe, though often resembling the meats they appear to be as. Curiously it may be consumed "raw" as they are pre-cooked and still warm, and more bizarrely seem to lack any sort of functional organs other than delicious meats and spices.

Escape (Ex): As a full round action food can escape, moving 10x its normal move speed without provoking attacks of opportunity and ignoring all difficult terrain or any effect which would slow it down. It typically escapes on the first round, so one must beat it in initiative and take it out immediately.

Ferocity (Ex): A food is such a tenacious combatant that it continues to fight without penalty even while disabled or dying.

Lucky (Ex): For some reason food has a natural +6 luck bonus to AC.

Skills: Food has a +8 racial bonus to Escape Artist checks.

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Eiji-kun's Homebrew (5338 Articles)
Facts about "Food (3.5e Monster)"
AlignmentAlways True Neutral +
AuthorEiji-kun +
Challenge Rating2 +
EnvironmentDungeons, Castle Walls, and Trash Cans +
Identifier3.5e Monster +
Level Adjustment+
Rated ByZhenra-Khal +
RatingRating Pending +
SizeSmall +
TitleFood +
TypeAberration +