Joker (3.5e NPC)
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|“||You need to brighten up!||”|
|CE S Humanoid|
|Init/Senses||+5/Listen +8, Spot +8|
|AC||29(10+5Dex+1size+8clown-1flaw+3natural(BW)+3deflection(BW)), touch 26, flat-footed 21|
|hp||85 (12d8+31 HD)|
|Melee||+3 Assassin Needles (w/ weapon focus & Needles Mastery): Attack +19/+14, Damage 1d3+12, Crit 18-20/x3 Type piercing or|
|Melee||Squeaky Hammer: Attack +14/+9, Damage 1d6-1, Crit 20/x3 Type nonlethal bludgeoning or|
|Melee||Thrown Dagger: Attack +14/+9, Damage 1d3+5, Crit 19-20/x2 Type piercing or slashing|
|Ranged||Uzi: Attack +14/+9, Damage 1d6+5, Crit 20/x2 Type piercing (in 90’ line or 30’ cone)|
|Special Actions||Tomfoolery +3d6, Sneak Attack +3d6, Echo Madness, Clown Gags|
|Combat Gear||Bracers of Deadly Aim|
|Abilities||Str 8, Dex 20, Con 17, Int 20, Wis 10, Cha 24|
|Feats||Variant Weapon Focus (assassin needles), Weapon Finesse, Lunatic, Needles Mastery, Quicken Spell-Like Ability, Improved Critical|
|Skills||Balance+8(4r+2sy), Bluff+25(15r+3clown), Diplomacy+16(5r+4sy), Disable Device+9(4r), Disguise+11(4r+2sy), Escape Artist+15(8r+2sy), Gather Information+9(2sy), Hide+15(6r+4size), Intimidate+17(5r+2sy+3clown), Jump+6(5r+2sy), Knowledge (Local)+10(5r), Listen+8(8r), Move Silently+11(4r), Perform (Comedy)+25(15r+3clown), Sleight of Hand+15(5r+2sy+3clown), Ride+5, Search+4(4r), Sense Motive+12(5r), Spot+8(8r), Tumble+22(15r+2sy), Use Magic Device+8(1r), Use Rope+12(5r+2sy); (114 total ranks) Ego bonuses: Fool(+2 Sleight of Hand & Bluff), Subtle(+2 Hide & Move Silently)|
The joker is all about egging (sometimes literally) opponents to attack him. Making them forget about that trip mine, or giant. And once you finally have him cornered he wisps away like smoke - making opponents thing that their mind was playing tricks - "he said it was a portabella but, holy SHIT!"
With smaller parties he is prone to just doing a Tomfoolery-Sneak Attack, or using his needle Battle Acupuncture feat. He usually disables the weaker party members first, then focuses on the strongest.
Larger and stronger groups require more ingenuity. Which in most cases involve Gags and spells (see The Power below). He also focuses on spell casters and range attackers first, usually attacking from a flanking position, then quickly escaping away (he may use dimension slide or invisibility to do this). With such groups he constantly must keep most of the party distracted while he isolates one. In desperation, he may decide to use his Uzi to split up the party.
Against a single powerful opponent, he mostly focuses on dodging attacks the first few rounds. Unless he is lucky and can sneak attack. Once the opponent is worn down or distracted, he goes in for the kill.
Max DPR Combo
A sneak attack (+3d6) with tomfoolery (+3d8), using variant weapon focus (+2 attack, +4 damage), weapon finesse and improved critical feats, assassin needles; and quickened cat's grace (+4Dex). Total DPR vs. 28AC =64.03
- Damage: 1d3+7((20Dex+4(spell)-10)/2)+3weapon(BW)+3d6(SA)+3d8(TF)+4(feats) =39.5
- Attack: 7Dex+8 BAB+3weapon+2 feat+1 size, total attack=+21/+16
- Critical: (1d3+14)x3+3d6+3d8=70.5
Tomfoolery (Ex): With a disturbing and insulting joke, an evil clown can add insult to injury and deal extra damage. By making a successful Perform (Comedy) check opposed by the target's modified level check (1d20+character level or hit dice+Wisdom modifier), she may add a tomfoolery strike to all of her attacks that round. This check is made only once per round as a free action. This does 1d8 extra damage. Ranged attacks can count as tomfoolery only if the target is within 30 feet. This damage is never nonlethal damage. Tomfoolery is only effective against creatures that can see and/or hear the evil clown (including through blindsight) and have an Intelligence score of at least 6.
At 4th level and every three after, the damage increases by 1d8.
Hammerspace (Su): As a free action once per round for every Charisma modifier (minimum 1), an evil clown may magically produce items for her other abilities, as specified in the descriptions of the individual abilities. This ability can be used even when it isn't the evil clown's turn.
Clown Gags: An evil clown has a gag pool (see above), she adds her Charisma modifier to this number. She cannot spend more than her class level in a single gag (i.e., at 2nd level, max gag cost 2 gags, or 1 gag and an augment). Her gag pool resets at the start of the next day. Any save DCs are equal to 10+1/2 class level+Charisma modifier, and all spell-like abilities have a caster level equal to class level (psi-like, manifester level is equal). 21 Gags per day.
- Trick (Sp): As a standard action, for 1/2 gag, can perform a magical trick (treat like (prestidigitation).
- Disquieting Diddy (Su): As an immediate action, for 1 gag, can magically produce circus music and laugh maniacally at a single creature within close range (25 ft.+5 ft./2 levels) to which she has line of sight. The creature is shaken one round per evil clown Charisma modifier (minimum 1); can be negated with a Will save. Every extra gag point spent allows this to affect one more creature.
- Pie Toss (Ex): As a standard action, for 1 gag, can throw a cream pie at a single creature with discernible eyes. The evil clown makes a ranged touch attack with a range increment of 10 ft. If the attack hits, the enemy is rendered blind until it takes a standard action to wipe off the cream. She can make a DC10 Perform (Comedy) check to use her hammerspace ability to produce the requisite cream pie.
- Seltzer Splash (Ex): As a standard action, for 1 gag, can shoot seltzer water at a single creature within 10 ft., dazing it for one round per evil clown Charisma modifier (minimum 1); can be negated with a Fortitude save. She can make a DC10 Perform (Comedy) check to use her hammerspace ability to produce the requisite bottle of seltzer water.
- Frightening Fanfare (Su): As a standard action, for 2 gags, can magically produce circus music and laugh maniacally at a single creature within close range (25 ft.+5 ft./2 levels) to which she has line of sight. The creature is frightened one round per evil clown Charisma modifier (minimum 1); can be negated with a Will save. Every extra gag point spent allows this to affect one more creature.
- Jester’s Juggle (Ex): As a full round action, for 2 gags, can juggle, then make a furry of blows like attack with objects. She can make a furry of blows as a Monk of a level equal to evil clown’s class level. This throws a number of objects equal to furry of blows attack at anything within 30 feet (like a thrown range attack). She can maintain this for one round per Charisma modifier (minimum 1). The clown can try to maintain it for longer with a Sleight of Hand check (DC10+2 per round after) every round (as a free action). However, if she fails the check she is disarmed. She can make a DC15 Perform (Comedy) check to use her hammerspace to produce each weapon. This can be used to make any light throwing weapon (including daggers, clubs (even though they are not light), darts, javelins, throwing axes, light hammers and shuriken).
- Squeaky Hammer (Su): As an attack action, for 2 gags, can confuse a foe damaged by her squeaky hammer. An evil clown must declare that she is using this ability before she makes her attack roll (thus, a failed attack roll ruins the attempt). This confusion lasts for one round per evil clown Charisma modifier (minimum 1); can be negated with a Fortitude save. An evil clown can make a DC 15 Perform (Comedy) check to produce the requisite squeaky hammer with her hammerspace ability. A squeaky hammer is identical to a warhammer, except that it deals nonlethal damage. Unlike most nonlethal weapons, the wielder of a squeaky hammer cannot take a -4 penalty on attack rolls in order to deal lethal damage.
- Unicycle Ride (Ex): As a move action, for 2 gags, can mount a unicycle. She can maintain this for one round per Charisma modifier (minimum 1). The clown can try to maintain it for longer with a Balance check (DC10+2 per round after) every round (as a free action). However, if she fails the check she falls prone. Dismounting is a free action. She can make a DC15 Perform (Comedy) check to use her hammerspace to produce the unicycle. For 1 extra gag, this can be used with juggle (see above; 3 gags total for both).
- Catch Me If You Can (Ps): As a standard action, for 3 gags, can jump to a nearby location (treat like dimension slide). For 1 extra gag, can increase the power (treat like dimension door). For 1 extra gag (to either), can do it as an immediate action.
- Creepy Grin (Sp): As a standard action, for 3 gags, can slow opponents (treat like slow). This is a mind-affecting fear effect.
- Discard Banana (Ex): As an immediate action, for 3 gags, can throw a banana peel at a single creature that is moving from one square to another, under its own power and while touching the ground. The evil clown makes a ranged touch attack against the target, with a range increment of 10 ft. If the attack hits, the enemy falls prone and ends their move. An evil clown can make a DC 20 Perform (Comedy) check to use her hammerspace ability to produce the requisite banana peel.
- Terrifying Tune (Su): As a standard action, for 3 gags, can magically produce circus music and laugh maniacally at a single creature within close range (25 ft.+5 ft./2 levels) to which she has line of sight. The creature is panicked one round per evil clown Charisma modifier (minimum 1); can be negated with a Will save. Every extra gag point spent allows this to affect one more creature.
- Distracting Dance (Ex): As a standard action, for 4 gags, can preform a comical dance. This fascinates all creatures within 30 feet; can be negated with a Will save. Each creature to be fascinated must be able to pay attention. The distraction of nearby combat or other dangers prevents the ability from working.
- Profanity (Sp): As a standard action, for 4 gags, can spout profanity (treat like profanity).
- Summon Gremlin (Su): As a standard action, for 4 gags, can summon a gremlin type II. The summoned gremlin lasts for 1 round per class level, is not under the clown's control, and is pure choas -- willing to do actions against its own self-preservation. For 2 extra gags, can improve the gremlin type to III.
- Summon Clown Car (Su): As a standard action, for 5 gags, can summon a clown car. This car has only enough space for a clown in the driver's seat, however, its trunk acts like a bag of holding type II. The clown car is medium sized, has a speed of 50', 15 AC, 20 HP, 5 hardness, and can pull 1000 lbs. If it is destroyed, all items and creatures within it fall to the same square (prone if creatures). For 1 extra gag, can increase the cars HP by 10 and bag of holding type to III.
- Bouncy House (Ps): As a standard action, for 6 gags, can make the floor bouncy (treat like jelly floor, unaugmented). For 1 extra gag, can increase the area by one 10' square.
AC Bonus (Ex): When unarmored and unencumbered, the evil clown adds her Charisma bonus (if any) to her AC. At 5th and every 5 after, she gets an additional +1 bonus to AC (i.e., +2 at 10th). These bonuses to AC apply even against touch attacks or when she is flat-footed. She loses these bonuses if immobilized, helpless, wearing any armor, uses a shield, or carrying a medium or heavy load.
Balloon Familiar: At 2nd level, an evil clown may use her hammerspace ability to produce a long skinny balloon, which she may shape into any of the standard animals available to be a sorcerer's familiar as a full-round action. The balloon animal animates, and gains the abilities of a familiar belonging to a sorcerer of a level equal to the evil clown's class level. This familiar is treated as a construct, rather than a magical beast. When a balloon familiar is subject to slashing or piercing damage, it takes triple the normal damage. An evil clown does not lose experience if this familiar is destroyed, but cannot create another balloon familiar until the next hour. Any natural weapons the familiar has deal nonlethal damage. If the familiar is within reach, the evil clown may change the familiar to the shape of any other familiar from the standard list as a full-round action. The balloon familiar is otherwise identical to a sorcerer's familiar.
Bonus Language (Squeak): At 2nd level, an evil clown gains Squeak as a bonus language. This language cannot be learned by anyone who is not an evil clown, no matter how hard they try to learn it. The language is spoken by emitting squeaks of various lengths and pitches, and the written language looks like a cross between sheet music and Morse code.
Horrific Appearance (Ex): At 2nd level, an evil clown gains a +1 circumstance bonus to intimidate checks against non-evil creatures as her skin pales, her nose grows red and bulbous, and her hair gradually becomes one or more unnatural colors. At 4th and every three after, this bonus increases by 1.
Laugh it Off (Ex): An evil clown is a maniac, and has learned to use this madness to laugh off certain effects, and higher levels can even laugh off damage.
- Mental Resistance: At 3rd level, an evil clown learns to laugh off charms, compulsions, and certain illusions. This gives them a +2 bonus against mind-affecting effects. At 6th and every three after, the bonus increases by 1.
- Damage Reduction: At 6th level, the evil clown learns how to laugh off even damage. This gives them Damage Reduction 2/Good. At 12th and 18th levels, the DR increases by 1.
- Chaotic Mind: At 9th level, the evil clown can escape from magical effects that would otherwise mentally affect her. If she is affected by a mind-affecting spell or effect and fails her saving throw, she can attempt it again 1 round later at the same DC. She gets only this one extra chance to succeed on her saving throw.
- Resilient Body: At 12th level, the evil clown becomes immune to fatigue, exhaustion, disease, poison and energy drain.
- Mental Fortress: At 15th level, the evil clown becomes immune to all compulsions, and divinations made to to find information about her.
- Escape Death: At 18th level, the evil clown becomes immune to all death and evil effects.
Silly Clown (Ex): At 4th level, an evil clown gains a +2 circumstance bonus to bluff, perform (comedy) and sleight of hand checks as her words and hands have become practiced in deception and comedy. At 7th and every three after, this bonus increases by 1.
Bonus Feat: At 5th and every three after, she receives a bonus feat that she meets the prerequisites for.
Contort Size (Su): At 7th level, an evil clown is treated as one size category smaller for the purposes of squeezing into and through small spaces.
Bind Alter Ego (Su): A Schismsoul scribes a rune into her body somewhere, acting as a binding point for her other mental psyches and enabling her to control her other forms while retaining a semblance of sanity. Once bound these fragments of personality are hers to control. A Schismsoul starts out with two separate egos chosen from the list below, and gains another at 3rd, and every 2 levels afterward. Switching between egos is a standard action. When an ego is active, the appropriate rune lights up, and subtle changes become apparent on the subject, who channels the particular mind. Egos change your visible alignment, but it is a false alignment and will not matter for magical effects such as Unholy Blight. All spell-like abilities of the egos are 10 + 1/2 character level + Cha with a caster level equal to your character level. At 4th level switching egos becomes a move action. This improved to a swift action at 8th. In any case, discarding a particular ego is a free action.
The Fool (Su): A joker and a prankster, the fool does not know seriousness. Everything is a game to the fool. The fool gains 1/2 his class level to Sleight of Hand and Bluff checks. At 1st level, the fool may tease and make fun of an opponent up to 1 time per class level. The opponent makes a Will save against DC 10 + 1/2 character level + Cha or feel uncomfortable, giving a -1 morale penalty to all skills, attack rolls, and saving throws for 1 minute. At 3rd level, this becomes -2, at 6th level it becomes -3, and at 9th level the penalty becomes -4. This is a mind-effecting affect that only works on creatures with an Int score of 3 or higher. However, you do not have to speak the same language if you are good at pantomiming. At 10th level, your foolishness has the additional effect of increasing the enemy's fumble range to 1-3. While manifesting the fool, your alignment appears to be Chaotic Neutral.
The Power (Su): Power gets to one's head sometimes, the power is obsessed with it, always seeking new ways to find more power. There need not be a reason, the journey itself is the goal. The power receives several, limited, spells. He selects spells from the sorcerer/wizard list, once chosen he cannot swap out his spells. All spells he can cast at each level may be cast 1 + Cha/day. At 1st level he gains a 1st level spell, and another at 2nd level. At 3rd level he gains a 2nd level spell and another at 4th level. At 5th level he gains a 3rd level spell and another at 6th level. At 7th level he gains a 4th level spell, and another at 8th level. At 9th level he gains a 5th level spell, and at 10th level he gains a 6th level spell. These spells are spell-like abilities. While manifesting the power, your alignment appears to be Neutral Evil.
The Slasher (Su): The slasher is a lunatic who revels in the pain of others, and does to methodically by his own mad plans. Uncaring, he excels at causing suffering to others. While manifesting the slasher, you gain the ability to sneak attack, which stacks with any pre-existing sneak attack you have. You have 1d6 at 1st level, and every 2 levels to 5d6 at 9th level. At 10th level you gain the ability to Hide In Plain Sight. While manifesting the slasher, your alignment appears to be Lawful Evil.
The Subtle (Su): Be it shy, or be it sneaky, the subtle simply does not get noticed in a crowd. The subtle receives 1/2 their class level to Hide and Move Silently checks. At 1st level, you are able to make hide checks in a crowd of people without actually ducking or being suspicious. At 3rd level you are under the constant effect of a Nondetection effect. At 5th, you gain Invisibility every 1 + Cha mod/day (minimum 1), as the spell. At 7th you become aware of anyone attempting to scry you as if under the effects of Detect Scrying. At 9th your invisibility becomes Greater Invisibility if you so desire. At 10th, unless trying to be noticed, people must make a Spot check against you even if you walked into the room, the DC being your Hide score + 1. While manifesting the subtle, your alignment does not appear at all, as if the caster attempted to scan an object.
Alter Form (Sp): At 2nd level the Schismsoul is able to shift her body to resemble the form of the mind she desires. She gains the ability to use Alter Self at will, but can only shift into a limited number of pre-set forms. She can have up to the number of alter egos she has available, for example, an 8th level Schismsoul has 6 different alternate forms to choose from.
Mental Synchronisation (Ex): At 3rd level, the Schismsoul manages to invoke some harmony within her mental framework, and the various minds help each other when it comes to survival. The DC and caster level for any of her ego powers rises by +1. At 6th level this improves to +2 DC and caster level. At 9th level the improvement rises again to +3 DC and caster level.
Echo Madness (Su): At 5th level when subjected to any enchantment spell which is successfully resisted through a successful saving throw, or immunity, the Schismsoul may reflect the spell back at its caster with the same DC and caster level as before by inflicting herself with 1 point of Wisdom damage. In the case of such spells such Charm Person the caster in control of their behavior is the Schismsoul.
Variants used for this NPC
- Unearthed Arcana
- Balanced Wealth (3.5e Variant Rule)
- 32 point buy (7Str, 14Dex, 14Con, 16Int, 9Wis, 16Cha)