Butter Paladin (3.5e Class)
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What is more good than butter, the ingredient of the gods? Enraptured by its taste, the butter paladin defends culinary perfection with butter knife in hand. 20 0 Good Good Poor Poor Prepared Divine Spellcasting Minor
What is more good than butter, the ingredient of the gods? Enraptured by its taste, the butter paladin defends culinary perfection with butter knife in hand. Many make fun of someone being inspired to paladinhood out of love of food, but their dedication to flavor still grants them divine power.
Making a Butter Paladin
Abilities: As a martial class, Strength and Constitution are always important, but so is Charisma as it powers their class abilities and spells. Dexterity is less important thanks to their usual heavy armor, and they usually keep enough Intelligence and Wisdom to be able to cook well.
Alignment: Any good. Though they are considered paladins, a dedication to food takes on many flavors, not simply lawful good.
Starting Gold: 5d4×10 gp (125 gp).
|Saving Throws||Special||Spells per Day|
|1st||+1||+2||+0||+0||Create Butter, Greasy Smite 1/day, Stable Footing, Summon Butter Knife||—||—||—||—|
|2nd||+2||+3||+0||+0||Healthy Metabolism, Slippery Saves||—||—||—||—|
|3rd||+3||+3||+1||+1||Aura of Butter, Fortified Heart||—||—||—||—|
|4th||+4||+4||+1||+1||Greasy Smite 2/day||0||—||—||—|
|5th||+5||+4||+1||+1||Instant Meal, Mount Loaf||1||—||—||—|
|6th||+6||+5||+2||+2||Improved Fortified Heart||1||—||—||—|
|7th||+7||+5||+2||+2||Freedom of Movement 1/day||1||0||—||—|
|8th||+8||+6||+2||+2||Greasy Smite 3/day||1||1||—||—|
|11th||+11||+7||+3||+3||Heroes' Feast 1/day||2||1||1||—|
|12th||+12||+8||+4||+4||Greasy Smite 4/day||2||1||1||—|
|13th||+13||+8||+4||+4||Improved Instant Meal||3||2||1||0|
|15th||+15||+9||+5||+5||Butter Induced Heart Failure 1/day||3||2||2||1|
|16th||+16||+10||+5||+5||Greasy Smite 5/day||3||3||2||1|
|20th||+20||+12||+6||+6||Blessing of the Dean, Greasy Smite 6/day||4||4||3||3|
Class Skills (2 + Int modifier per level, ×4 at 1st level)
All of the following are class features of the Butter Paladin.
Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Butter Paladins are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, with all types of armor (heavy, medium, and light), and with shields (except tower shields).
Create Butter (Sp): The butter paladin gains a unique spell-like ability, summoning a single stick of butter. It can be used for anything you expect a stick of butter can do: seasoning food, spreading down in up to a 5 ft square to replicate the effect of grease, eating it raw, and so forth. The ability may be used at will, but only one stick of butter may be in effect at the same time. The previous instances of butter and the effects they have had are dismissed on the new casting. This is considered a 0th level spell.
Greasy Smite (Su): Once per day the butter paladin can strike with supernaturally buttery force. They gain their Charisma to the attack roll, and apply the effect of grease either on the target, the target's equipment, or in the target's square as per the spell. Unlike the grease spell, the duration lasts until it is cleaned off as a move action, or until they take at least 10 points of fire damage which caramelizes the butter.
They gain an extra use of this at 4th level and every four levels beyond.
Stable Footing (Ex): When you work around so much butter, you have to keep stable footing. You gain your class level as a sacred bonus skill checks, saves, and ability checks made to resist being bull rushed or tripped when standing on the ground (but not when climbing, flying, riding, or otherwise not standing firmly on the ground).
When you obtain Mount Loaf, your Mount Loaf benefits from your stable footing ability.
Summon Butter Knife (Su): The inscrutable gods of butter have granted you a divine weapon for which to spread their word. Chosen on creation, you are granted either a butter knife, butter sword, or butter greatsword. In truth, they are all simply oversized silverware which are somehow weaponized for your use. They count as silver weapons for the purposes of damage reduction. Select from below.
Butter Knife: Light weapon, 1d6 bludgeoning and slashing damage, 19-20/x2.
Butter Sword: One handed weapon, 1d8 bludgeoning and slashing damage, 19-20/x2. This is a finesse weapon.
Butter Greatsword: Two handed weapon, 2d6 bludgeoning and slashing damage, 19-20/x2.
You can summon the weapon to your hand as a move action, or a free action if you have Quick Draw. By praying to the gods you can enhance the weapon as if you had the appropriate item creation feat. If the weapon is destroyed, you take a negative level but can re-summon it back free of damage with its magical enhancements intact after one week. The negative level is also lifted at this time.
Healthy Metabolism (Su): While most paladins lay on hands, the 2nd level butter paladin's version does not provide instant healing. Rather, it fills the target with calories and raises the metabolism to promote natural healing. On touch, the paladin can grant the target fast healing equal to your Charisma modifier (max equal to your butter paladin level) for 1 round/level. They can use this ability a number of times per day equal to their Charisma modifier. It does not function on creatures which cannot benefit from natural healing, such as constructs or the undead. It is not considered positive energy.
Slippery Saves (Ex): At 2nd level, the butter paladin is as slippery as the butter they consume. They can roll twice and take the better result on their saving throws.
Aura of Butter (Su): At 3rd level the paladin butters up the area around them. They can force creatures within 10 ft of the butter paladin to roll against a DC 10 + 1/2 butter paladin level balance check or fall prone whenever they attempt to move through the area. They can selectively exclude creatures from this aura if they wish.
Fortified Heart (Ex): When you eat as much butter as a butter paladin does, you best have a strong heart. A 3rd level butter paladin automatically stabilizes when dying, and any bleeding effects only last a maximum of 1 round as the butter quickly clots with delicious salty butter.
Spells: Beginning at 4th level, a butter paladin gains the ability to cast a small number of divine spells, which are drawn from the butter paladin spell list. A butter paladin must choose and prepare her spells in advance.
To prepare or cast a spell, a butter paladin must have a Charisma score equal to at least 10 + the spell level. The Difficulty Class for a saving throw against a butter paladin’s spell is 10 + the spell level + the butter paladin’s Charisma modifier.
Like other spellcasters, a butter paladin can cast only a certain number of spells of each spell level per day. Her base daily spell allotment is given on Table: The Butter Paladin. In addition, she receives bonus spells per day if she has a high Charisma score. When Table: The Butter Paladin indicates that the paladin gets 0 spells per day of a given spell level, she gains only the bonus spells she would be entitled to based on her Charisma score for that spell level. The butter paladin does not have access to any domain spells or granted powers, as a cleric does.
A butter paladin prepares and casts spells the way a cleric does, though she cannot lose a prepared spell to spontaneously cast a cure spell in its place. A butter paladin may prepare and cast any spell on the butter paladin spell list, provided that she can cast spells of that level, but she must choose which spells to prepare during her daily meditation.
Through 3rd level, a butter paladin has no caster level. At 4th level and higher, her caster level is her butter paladin level -3.
1st—bless, bless water (as melted butter), bless weapon, boiling sphere, cone of melted butter, cook, cure light wounds, detect poison, divine favor, endure elements, grease, lesser restoration, magic weapon, protection from evil, read magic, resistance, virtue.
3rd—cure serious wounds, dispel magic, greater endure elements, greater magic weapon, heal mount, honey ambrosia (as butter, no sticky function), icarus wings, magic circle against evil, prayer, remove blindness/deafness, remove curse.
Instant Meal (Su): A 5th level butter paladin can choose to convert creatures they make the killing blow against into delicious meals. As a free action, the creature becomes a freshly cooked meal (which suspiciously usually takes the form of an entire turkey or drumstick), cooked deep in butter. Eating this meal, which usually takes at least 1 minute for a Medium creature, heals the creature eating it a number of hit points equal to the HD of the target.
It's usually seen rather crude to convert sapient creatures into food, and even worse to eat it.
Mount Loaf (Sp): The paladin gets a celestial steed but the 5th level butter paladin do one better, conjuring a celestial bread loaf from the bakeries on high as a 1 round action. This horse-sized loaf of bread is alive, treat it as phantom steed in all respects except damage is carried over when you summon or dismiss it. You may summon or dismiss it at will. The bread has no limbs and cannot make any attacks.
If your bread loaf is slain, it immediately disappears, leaving behind any equipment it was carrying. The butter paladin may not summon another mount for one week or until she gains a butter paladin level, whichever comes first, even if the mount is somehow returned from the dead. During this period, the butter paladin takes a –1 penalty on attack and weapon damage rolls.
Improved Fortified Heart (Ex): At 6th level the butter paladin's heart is fortified against the terror of heart failure. They become immune to [Death] effects.
Improved Instant Meal (Su): At 13th level the butter paladin's instant meal ability goes down easily thanks to its butter content. They can eat any of their instant meals as a move action no matter the size, or a free action if they have Quick Draw, without provoking attacks of opportunity.
Butter Induced Heart Failure (Sp): At 15th level, the butter paladin can provoke heart failure in the hearts of those not used to the blessings of butter. This is identical to finger of death which they can use as a spell-like ability 1/day. It does not function on creatures without some sort of circulatory system.
Boundless Calories (Ex): At 17th level, the butter paladin is fueled by the energy density of butter at all times. They become immune to fatigue and exhaustion, and can march without end. They also no longer to eat or drink, though they often do.
Blessing of the Dean: At 20th level the butter paladin has attracted the attention of an ancient goddess of butter known only as "Dean". Her blessings transform the butter paladin into an Outsider. They are now immortal. If slain, they can be returned by allies in a ritual that involves eating 10000 gp of butter in a feast over 4 hours. This duplicates true resurrection.
A butter paladin who ceases to be good, who willfully commits an evil act, or who no longer enjoys butter loses all butter paladin spells and abilities (including the service of the butter paladin’s mount, but not weapon, armor, and shield proficiencies). She may not progress any farther in levels as a butter paladin. She regains her abilities and advancement potential if she atones for her violations (see the atonement spell description), as appropriate.
Halfling Butter Paladin Starting Package
Weapons: Butter Sword.
Skill Selection: Pick a number of skills equal to 2 + Int modifier.
Feat: Power Attack.
Gear: Chain Shirt, Heavy Steel Shield.
Gold: 5 gp.
Playing a Butter Paladin
Religion: Butter paladins may debate if they worship butter or not, but all respect its taste and flavor. For them, eating buttery foods is a religious experience.
Other Classes: Other classes do not understand the love of butter a butter paladin has. Even fewer understand how they manage to stay so fit given their diet.
Combat: Butter paladins are melee combatents, who can pull a bit of disarming and battlefield control with their buttery smite and spells. They don't have as high of a damage output without a damaging smite attack, but they have a superior mount and several strong spell-like abilities. And, you know, actual class features.
Advancement: Prestige classes appropriate for a paladin still work for a butter paladin. Buttery smite counts as a smite evil for the purposes of pre-requisites.
Butter Paladins in the World
Daily Life: Butter in the morning, butter in the evening, butter at suppertime! When butter's on the table you can eat butter anytime!
What I'm saying is that butter paladins like to eat, and are often expert cooks.
Butter Paladin Lore
Characters with ranks in Knowledge Religion can research butter paladins to learn more about them. When a character makes a skill check, read or paraphrase the following, including information from lower DCs.
Butter Paladins in the Game
Adaptation: By switching the alignment of things, one can easily make the blackbutter knight. Their "lay on hands", Healthy Metabolism, now causes hp loss over time with a failed Fortitude save (DC 10 + 1/2 HD + Charisma modifier).
|Article Balance||High +|
|Base Attack Bonus Progression||Good +|
|Class Ability||Prepared Divine Spellcasting +|
|Class Ability Progression||Minor +|
|Fortitude Save Progression||Good +|
|Identifier||3.5e Class +|
|Minimum Level||0 +|
|Rated By||Psysama +|
|Rating||Rating Pending +|
|Reflex Save Progression||Poor +|
|Skill||Balance +, Concentration +, Craft +, Diplomacy +, Escape Artist +, Gather Information +, Handle Animal +, Heal +, Intimidate +, Knowledge +, Profession +, Ride +, Search +, Sense Motive +, Spellcraft + and Tumble +|
|Skill Points||2 +|
|Summary||What is more good than butter, the ingredient of the gods? Enraptured by its taste, the butter paladin defends culinary perfection with butter knife in hand. +|
|Title||Butter Paladin +|
|Will Save Progression||Poor +|